There I was taking giant leaps for mankind and almost tripping over moon rocks in the process. My jumps were just too impressive to ignore. Sometimes I chained multiple sets of jumps together to reach the top of a space mountain.
The other astronauts wanted to know where and how I learned to time my jumps. I started telling them about my friend, a mustachioed Italian plumber who taught me.
I hit the lip of a cliff, tumbled down and landed in a bad place.
I almost drowned in the sea of tranquility. A landslide of rock and dust slapped me in the face, and I sank to the bottom. But I woke up and dragged myself out of the rusty rubble.
When I got up and dusted the space dirt of my lily-white space suit shoulder, I recognized life. Not just my life returning. No. It was more than that. It was a large blue bauble teeming with life not to far away.
I thought about all those stick figures back home. They sat with their eyes glued to screens. They took everything for granted.
Meanwhile, I was drilling holes on another planetary body for the good of us all. I also took samples so they could sit in a museum and collect dust. They weren’t doing that.
Then Mr. Houston interrupted my space train of thought. “Jim, you there?” he said.
“Roger, roger HQ,” I said as my drill slid through the rocks like a knife through warm butter. “Hear ya loud and clear.”
“Jim, get the last of those rocks and bring ’em back to earth. We need them to save humanity. And Jim…”
“Yeah?” I folded the ten foot drill up and threw it in my space backpack.
“We’re all rooting for you down here.” Mr. Houston’s voice became as silent as the vacuum of space. Then he said, “Get back in one piece.”
As I put away the final sample into a space doggy bag, I gulped hard. Then I heard a strange gurgling sound behind me. I turned around to see a huge eight foot hazy figure.
That’s when I was face to face with a hideous, ragged monster that made big foot look like an annoying mosquito. It’s pearly white fangs had blood dripping from their tips. It extended its arm and lunged toward me. An epic space battle was about to unfold.
And it all began when I pressed start.
People think that traveling into space is both a great mental and physical challenge. Well, they’re right. I don’t know what else to tell you. But you can do it in video games too, so go out and try it.
Bonus embarrassing/funny fact: I once thought Houston referred to a person when I was a kid. That’s why I included it in this post. Also, I thought it just sounded different and cool to give a person that name.