He said he was going to teach me a valuable lesson about productivity. He only learns things the hard way.
You go out and live your life.
I stay indoors and play video games.
I stay indoors playing video games all day.
I’m doing it for you.
He Liked It?
I traveled back in time to let Karl play.
The most impressive part of that adventure, for me, was what he said.
He sat on a couch resting his chin on his fist, which was stained red because he had begun painting his new house’s white picket fence.
As I lay in wait, my heart bumped faster than the beats coming out of a techno DJ’s speakers.
He burned holes in the TV with his eyes and stroked his long beard, before delivering his verdict:
“This so-called video game shall one day be the second greatest opiate of the people.”
That was all I needed to hear; I was already on my way out once the last spittle flew out of his mouth.
I traveled back to the present faster than a Stalinist-era judge would deliver his show trial verdict.
What do I make of the prediction?
On the one hand, I was pleased my game would relax people and sell out.
On the other hand, I wasn’t too keen on brainwashing the masses…
Time would tell, I thought.
Oh, damn, I left the game with him!
The Strange Reason Will Surprise You
(1) I was either too busy playing video games to start the post, or
(2) I didn’t think the topic was worth entertaining.
Perhaps you could come up with your own theory.
I asked people, “Why are you standing up for video games?” I want to share some of their answers:
“Because I’m tired of sitting down to play.”
“Most of the games I play are derivative and shallow. Standing up provides some variety — at least in the way that I play.”
“If I don’t stand up, who will? Everyone else is too busy sitting down and playing their games.”
“I can’t feel my legs anymore.”
“I spilled piping hot coffee all over my lap while I was playing. I’m dancing, not standing.”
“I heard other people say that we should stand up for video games.”
“It felt like the right thing to do.”
Why are you standing up for video games?
An app said I misspelled my last name and suggested Malkovich was correct.
Was I at the character selection screen of some dystopian video game? Did the game know me better than I know myself?
No, I was using Grammarly.
A snake-like line has formed outside of a bee’s nest. A bee with muscles the size of acorns blocks the entrance with a towering golden scepter. Bees, exhausted from overwork, bumble about and trip over each other while jostling to join the line. Our busy Billy, also known as Worker 769, makes his appearance at the front.
“Worker 769, show me your pollen”, said the bulky bee.
“Uhhh the dog ate my pollen”, said Billy.
“You expect me to believe that? Come on, pal, we all know you were playing video games again instead of serving her majesty. You have no sense of responsibility. What purpose do you serve?” The bulky bee jabbed Billy with the scepter, pushing him out of the line.
Billy felt as if he had been stung and wanted to sting back, but he resisted.
“You know what? I don’t need this. I don’t need this colony. I’m going to start something of my own.”
He rubbed the dust off of his abdomen and prepared for take off. “And you’re lucky I don’t dump all of your precious honey into the nearby harbour as I leave. Humph!”
Billy buzzed away in search of greener pastures and better days.