Category Archives: Video Game Misc.

How I Got My Dose of Video Games Today

I couldn’t be bothered to pick up a controller, so I typed this post instead.

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It Was a Dark and Stormy Day

But I turned on my video games, and the clouds went away.

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You’re Stuck in the Past, Man!

Meena: “I heard you like video games.”

Jake: “I love video games! Playing them is my favourite hobby.”

Meena: “What kinds do you play?”

Jake: “I only play games made before 1991.”

Meena raised one eyebrow and tilted her head.

Meena: “Why?”

Jake scratched his head.

Meena: “I’ve heard there are some classic games made before 1990. But have you even considered trying some newer games?”

Jake: “I… uh…”

Jake screwed up his face. His lips mouthed words, yet he now uttered nothing intelligible.

Meena went home. She slammed the door behind her so hard that a porcelain vase, which was close to the door, shook and fell to the ground, shattering into hundreds of tiny pieces. While Meena fell asleep at home, Jake was still standing there; his bubbling lips still trying to form words.

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Do You Consume Your Video Games?

Or do they consume you?

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A Dirty Job But Someone’s Gotta Do It

Jake sported a mischevious grin as he stood in front of the presents.

“Hey Jess, did you check that you wrapped the right games for James and Joyce?” he asked.

“Oh no! I completely forgot! I don’t know what I’m going to do now,” said Jess.

Jake replied, “It’s okay: I’ll get to the bottom of this if it takes me all night.”

Jake unwrapped both presents and ripped the packaging off the games before Jess could reply.

“I can’t be sure which game is which until I beat both from start to finish; their covers are so similar,” he said.

“Oh, I didn’t know that. Ok, do whatever you need to do. You’re my hero.” She left the room with a big grin on her face. Before Jess had exited the door, Jake had already booted up the game and pressed start. He rubbed his palms together, put his feet up on the coffee table and laughed to himself.

“Yeah, and can I get a few beers while I act heroically?”

He turned around and started playing the first video game.

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If Video Games Ever Hurt Me

I’d forgive them and we would “play nice.”

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No One Is above My House Rules

I told my Jedi friends they aren’t welcome to play video games at my place anymore. We can play again when they stop using mind tricks to have my character jump off cliffs. I’ve had enough of their snickering too!

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