Category Archives: Video Game Misc.

Consumed by Video Games

“I think I lost It.”

Sam breathed so hard after mumbling these words as if his lungs were trying to escape his chest. Sweat poured down his face and left him glistening wet, as if he had walked through a rainstorm. He hunched over and rested his hands on his knees. He was desperate to catch his breath. Alas his breath was moving too fast for him to tackle it into submission, let alone to get a grip on it. Staying in his mind and considering his body’s feelings were luxuries he could ill afford.

The wall next to him crumbled like a cookie, except no delicious chocolate chips fell to the ground for him to scoop up and savour. Sam ignored this event and bolted straight forward, forgetting what his body and brain were telling him; he left those thoughts and feelings in the dust he had created with his feet.

Behind Sam, he could hear It. The sound was a constant rolling rumble, like a rusty wheel on an old cart that a beleaguered donkey was pulling. A citrus smell, especially of oranges, pervaded the area around him. The rumble become louder and louder.

Munch! Out of the corner of his eye, Sam saw It devour the wall to his right and burst through the rest of the blue concrete. Sam had fallen to the ground, he stared at It with his mouth open and his eyes wide. He tried to cover his eyes with his arm but could not stop looking at It. As It crunched and digested the wall, Sam’s stomach churned with disgust, he was able to look away and focus on moving forward.

But he had already memorized the look of It. It had one large eye in the center, and a giant mouth, which never shut, took up one-quarter of the body. It’s mouth was always ready to eat everything in It’s path, including the red cherries Sam had dropped from his pocket. It was a giant, thin disc and one side was shiny silver. The other side was purple and had some white text scribbled on it.

But Sam never saw the text: he shot forward as if a cannon had fired him. He turned left. Then he turned right around a corner. Then he turned right five more times. He was not going the right way and had made no progress; his head spinned because he ended up where he began. He decided to let his heart guide him. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and made one more right turn. A huge smile overtook his face when he saw the exit, but he tripped and stumbled to the ground.

He heard It again making a strange bleep and bloop sound effect as It flapped It’s yap. It rounded the corner, rolling forward, and locked on to Sam. He covered his eyes with his hands as the mouth moved closer and closer.


Sam sat bolt upright so fast that his neck almost snapped; things began falling off of his body as he did so. He was sweaty, his eyes were wide, and he searched around the room as he breathed loud enough to waken the neighbours from their slumber. He hopped to his feet and shook himself like a wet dog, and as if insects had covered him, he rubbed his arms and legs to get rid of any clinging critters. Soon his breath slowed down, and his vision became clear as if someone had put clean glasses on his eyes, as opposed to the beer goggles that he wore when he first rose to his feet.

His improved vision made it clear he had shaken off video game discs. They had covered his eyes, head, mouth, legs, torso, arms and heart. Free from this burden, he walked towards a door, he could already see something bright appearing through the cracks, and opened it. He walked outside to a place covered with light.


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Texting with Video Games Characters – Part III

[I started texting Gordon Freeman to “catch up.” I’ve decided to be polite and not share his number or address on my blog.]

Me (April 2, 2009 3:10 pm): Gordo! How ya been, buddy!? It’s your ol’ pal, Adam. I haven’t heard a peep from you in years.

Me (April 2, 2009 3:11 pm): Hey, it’s been a minute since I sent my message. Did you get it?

Me (April 2, 2009 3:12 pm): Cause I’m still here… It’s cool though. I can wait.

Me (April 2, 2009 3:14 pm): Hey man, jus checkin’ if you got my three other messages. I can re-send them if you didn’t. Let me know.

Me (May 1, 2009 12:09 pm): Can I at least come by to play games?

Me (June 19, 2009 2 pm): Alright, it’s been a while, and I won’t lie: I was hoping to talk to you about something I’ve been looking forward to.

Me (August 13, 2009 11:00 am): I can’t believe you’d give an old friend the cold shoulder like this!

Me (December 7, 2009 10:26 am): You got some nerve ignoring me after all these years! And after all we fought through together? All I’m looking for is one thing. You know what I want.

Me (December 26, 2009 1 pm): Screw you, Gordon!

Me (March 22, 2010 6 pm): I’m so sorry for what I said to you in the supermarket the other day. I should have put the pineapple down and stopped screaming. You were so stoic in the face of my sojourn from sanity. I didn’t mean any of it. I wish I could take it back. I hope you’ll forgive me.

Me (March 22, 2010 12:30 am): I’ve just been under a lot of stress lately. I haven’t been myself. I got a lot on my mind and a lot I’m looking forward to.

Me (November 19, 2010 8 pm): Did you get the present I left you on your front doorstep? I’m not expecting anything for myself but I got another surprise for you… we’re neighbours now! 😀

Me (February 27, 2011 10 pm): Gordon, you hard at work on smthg?

Me (February 28, 2011 12:15 am): Got any new projects to announce?

Me (February 28, 2011 3:06 am): Please, Gordon, I’m dyin’ here, man! You got any leads for ol’ Adam?

Me (February 28, 2011 4:32 am): Okay, okay. I’ll give you 1 mill for some news about HL3. You know I’m good for it. So please tell me!  And I won’t tell a soul.

Me (February 28, 2011 5:13 am): I’ll take ANYTHING man!!! Come on!!!!!

[Message from Cell Service Provider:] Click to view a report about the last message you wrote.

[My internal monologue at 5:15 am: What’s this? I knew you couldn’t stay mad at me! I knew you’d respond.]

[Message from Cell Service Provider:] The previous message to G. Freeman could not be delivered.

[My internal monologue at 5:17 am: Well, at least I didn’t embarrass myself.]

Me (February 29, 2011 7:03 pm): I was such a fool last night. I’m better than that.

Me (March 1, 2011 2 pm): I’m so sorry for my behaviour the other day. I lost it again. I think it’s best for both of us if I disappear for a while.

Me (October 1, 2017 4:16 pm): I’m much better and care free now! Thanks for asking.

Me (January 1, 2018 2:12 pm): Oh, I see what you’re doing ;). You’re playing that old game where you pretend not to know me. Well, two can play that.

Me (February 7, 2018 6 pm):   … ???

Me (August 9, 2018 7:08 pm): You’re really good at this game, Gordon. You can give it up at any time now!

Me (April 8, 2019 5 pm): It’s my bday today! 😀 Any updates? 😉

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Texting with Video Game Characters – Part II

I’m in the plumbing business with Mario and Luigi; it’s my side gig.


Me (3:oo pm):

Hey guys, I’m headin round the corner to get some coffee and donuts. You can unpack the tools, but don’t touch anything else until I get back. I gotta check out the problem before we start workin.

Me (3:10 pm):

Did you guys set up the tools? I’m about to head back.

Mario (3:11 pm):

Mama mia!

Me (3:11 pm):

What’s wrong???

Mario (3:12 pm):

Photo of a sink pipe that Mario broke







Photo of a faucet that Mario and Luigi broke.










Me (3:14 pm):

😲 You knuckleheads! Why I oughta… I left you alone for five minutes, told you not to do anything and now this happens. I thought you guys had like over twenty-five years of plumbing experience.

Luigi (3:15 pm):

No, no, no! Mama mia! Ohhh boy.

Me (3:16 pm):

You guys are making us into the Three Stooges here. Let’s hope we don’t wind up in front of a judge.

Mario (3:17 pm):

Wahoo! Let’s-a go!

Luigi (3:17 pm):

Okey dokey!

Me (3:18 pm):

Heyyyy I’m not going to take the fall for this! 😠 You wise guys stay where you are. I’m coming.

Me (3:19 pm):

Oh how I wish I’d never got into this business with you. I should just stick with blogging.

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My Only Fear of Death

Is respawning next to this crazy guy with the machine gun. Look at him: he’s just camping out there and mowing down anything that crosses his path. Can I live?


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I’m a Man of Many Worlds

I travel to them in the Video Games Nebula rocket ship.


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I’m a Man of Few Words

[Goes to play video games.]


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Wishing You Were Here

I could hear the sounds of calming waves behind me; they collapsed and made a sssshhhh sound before the cycle repeated. These waves were in my background while I lay on a hammock focused on the rectangle in front of me. While staring ahead, I, for a second, imagined what was happening out on the waves that I could not see. I “saw” the water invade the shore,  but it often retreated into the greater sea. Sometimes, at high tide I imagined, the water worked at full force to overrun the beach. Today, the waves the proved to be a spent force and nothing more than a pleasant sound as I played.

On the screen in front of me, I drove a massive, futuristic jeep on a planet with towering yellow and purple trees. I held down the gas so that I became airborne — nearly clipping the wings of a flock of cyan birds mid-air — after launching off ramps. The aliens, whom I presume built these ramps, placed the structures in curious places. The placement suggested the alien architects were daring me to launch myself into the air at a dangerous speed. So I drove around most of these structures. One time, I gunned the engine and flew off the ramp higher than ever into the sky.  Nothing could stop me.

After launching off of this ramp, everything moved in slow motion as I ascended higher and higher. The cyan birds swooped down to my eye level and pecked at my character’s helmet, but while keeping one hand on the steering wheel like a responsible driver, I swooshed them away. When the birds parted, my lungs sunk into my stomach and my eyes grew wide as I saw what lay before me. I was going down. I was about to land on a glittering, gold beach. As we got closer to the ground, alien butterflies floated around the jeep, an external manifestation of my stomach’s sentiments. I crossed my fingers and closed my eyes.


The jeep bounced off the rocky beach like a trampoline — yes, this was not a realistic game — and landed in a sand trap. My character started digging the jeep out of the sand. I hit pause in the game world.

In my world, I could still hear the waves in the background. I got off the hammock and opened the window. The waves evaporated and the pleasant sounds ceased. The sounds of the city replaced the waves as I peered outside. I heard tires sloshing through giant puddles and the slushy sounds of cars driving through wet snow. I heard the rain tap against the roof and saw stacks of snow and ice collapse and crash from the sides of buildings. I saw planes zooming in to land and heard their engines exhale, after a long trip, as they got closer to the ground. I could smell the street meat on the corner and heard both cars and geese honking. I needed ear plugs!

I turned around, unsatisfied with my breath of fresh city air and returned to the game. My character was still digging the jeep out of the sand. While he did that, I took in the game’s beach: the water did not have a ripple in sight and it was sunny. I smiled. I decided to share my joy and took a photo of the screen with my phone. I added a caption, “Wishing you were here,” before sending the photo to a friend.

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