Tag Archives: boring

Variations on a Theme: Earth Boring

Earth Boring

Video Games Are COOL!!!

“Dangnabbit! Those dang kids spray-painted their graffitis on my truck again.”

“Chuck, why don’t you just change the name?” asked Mindy.

“Ah, hell, I’m proud of what I do to the Earth.”


### Intercepted alien transmission begins: ###

Earth boring

Video games cool

Hating school

Dearth of activities


### Transmission ends. ###


Filed under Video Game Misc.

The Boring Machine

Max was reading a book that he couldn’t put down. He flipped through pages while he sat on his couch. He was so focused on the pages before him that his eyes could have burned holes through the paper. Simon, his loyal cat, read but three words from the book before his eyes became heavy and slammed shut. Simon curled up in a ball and purred. Only Max and the book seemed to exist.

Suddenly, Natalia appeared in front of the door frame next to the couch. “Hey baby! How’s that box?” she asked. Her pearly white teeth showed her excitement. And her smile betrayed her confidence: she knew she had given him something exciting.

“Huh?” Max replied as he looked up from his book. He looked at the book shelf straight ahead; it was so full that books would sometimes spill onto the ground. He focused on the black box atop the shelf only for a moment before returning to his book. “Oh, you mean that boring machine. I…” He didn’t get a chance to finish.

“Whaaaa? And after all I went through!” As she stormed off, her rumbling and grumbling seemed to rival that of the thunderstorm brewing outside.

Max’s eyebrows arched upwards. He put the book down. “What was that about?” he asked himself, scratching his head. His eyes returned to the black box: it was an experimental and miniaturized tunnel boring machine he had brought home from work. He looked to the right of the machine seeing, for the first time, a new video game console sporting a pretty red bow.

Max’s jaw dropped. “Uh oh!”

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Filed under Silly Video Game Inspired Fiction

First Person Shooters Are Boring Me

boring first person shootersMy love of first person shooters has plummeted to an all time low. But that wasn’t always the case. When I was a little game fan, I would blast through Wolfenstein and freeze alien scum without a pause. I didn’t even blink. These days my eyes droop at the sight of first person shooters.

I know why I’m bored with them. It takes more than your average run and gun adventure to pique my interest these days. I’d like to take think my tastes have become more refined since childhood. Hold on one second while I munch on this caviar and sip some Champagne. Mmm that’s good stuff.

Now, as I was saying, I’d like new first person shooters to impress me. They have done so in recent years. One of the most impressive shooters from the 2000s was Call of Duty 4. It was an excellent game. But then we saw that same excellent game everywhere, and we saw it with a number tacked on to the end. Then we watched as other companies made the same style of game as well.

Hordes of fans flocked to these military games and still do. Would you believe I once a met a retired professor who told me he preferred shooting games where things “blow up”? I suspect he would have loved Call of Duty. I do like explosions, I thought to myself as he spoke, but I still want more from the games I play.

I would love to find a new first person shooter that redefines the genre and plays like nothing else before it. This is something of a dream for me, but I hope it can come true.

Some games have come close to answering my dreams. Portal is one of my favourite first person shooters of the last couple years. You use a “gun” of sorts, but you don’t shoot bullets or lasers. You shoot portals. You solve puzzles. That’s brilliant and simple!

I also like first person shooters that borrow flavours from other games genres. Add one cup of puzzle solving, stir in RPG stats with numbers flying across the screen, and top with a good story. Mmmm sounds delicious.

I want a bold first person shooter that tears down old conventions, and I want to play it soon. My joystick trigger is getting itchy.


Filed under Video Games I Want