The Video Game that has Everything

A bunch of suits sit in silence and stare with cloudy eyes. On the top floor of a large black building, in a glass encased room, they sit behind an infinite wooden table. Then a tall man walks in, he towers above the rest, and his suit outshines everyone at the table. The suits sit so far away that only the color of their tie distinguishes them.

“Right, what have you got for me today ladies and gentlemen?”

“We want,” said a young man who trembled as she presented his ideas, “to make a super creative adventure game about zombies. They say zombies have risen again in popularity… from the grave. Ha ha”

“Ah,” shiny suit replied, “There are tons of games about zombies out there. We need something fresh. I mean that literally. I want to put the word fresh on the box. Rotten and decomposed zombie corpses are anything but fresh.”

A short, man with a double chin stuttered and spoke, “What about Nazis zombies? Nobody likes them; they’re perfect cannon fodder for gamers.

Shiny suit rubbed his chin and stared at the ceiling. “Hmmm I think Nazis are good enemies, but others have done it. We need something different.”

“Ok, ok I got it,” said the double chin man. “Aliens abduct the Nazi zombies and equipped them with advanced weaponry. Sometimes the alien zombies’ arms fall off and the guns become useless. The falling arms will set the game apart.”

Before the shiny suit could open his mouth, a cadaverous gentleman spoke. “I’ve got it: evil demons, who were buried on ancient burial ground, possessed the alien zombies.”

“Hmmm,” shiny suit mumbled.

The cadaverous man interrupted,ย  “Ok, so the alien zombies have chainsaws too and use them to mince and to eat human pรขtรฉ.”

“Still sounds like it’s been done before. And what about the costs?” said shiny suit.

“We’ll cut down on costs,” said the double chin, “because the enemies will be waves of clones. They’ll all look the same. And the hero will also be a copy and past job from our last game. He’ll have a shaved head, white skin and a square jaw. Oh, and he needs a bad attitude too.”

Then the cadaverous man asked, “but do you think we have enough monsters?”

Shiny suit interrupted: “Yes, that’s a great idea. If we aim for a Halloween release date, we can throw in some other monsters for the season. But no one has talked about explosions yet. Have we met our quota for this game?”

“You’re right sir,” said double chin. “As you can see from this chart, we’ve got have the obligatory guns and explosions.

“Ok,” said shiny suit, “but let’s recap what we agreed on today.”

Everyone at the other end of the table spoke up. “The game is about waves of demon infested and chainsaw-wielding nazi zombies who turn into bloodthirsty werewolves during a full moon.”

“Okay,” said shiny suit as he slammed his gavel on the table, “This matter is settled. Let’s get started.”

“Next order of business: world domination,” Double chin said.

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6 Comments

Filed under Video Game Misc.

6 responses to “The Video Game that has Everything

  1. Ubisoft or EA offices? ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  2. Lol. It started as creative writing. Would you believe that I wrote this without either company in my sights? As I got ready to publish, I realized it could be both companies, and some people would enjoy that. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  3. That’s probably an accurate description of what goes on when a run-of-the-mill game is conceptualized, ha ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can almost see this happening…

    Liked by 1 person

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