The Bad Guy That Got Away

“Gimme another round! And be quicker about it than the last time, or so help me I’ll—”

After he slurred his last word, the man speaking fell face first into a bowl of carrot soup. But the greasy soup could not constrain him; his face slipped out of the bowl and hit the table with a thud. Everyone sitting at the bar stopped what they were doing to look at the man in the soup. You could hear people breathing and nothing else.

“I think you’ve had enough,” said the bartender.

He lifted up the dipsomaniac’s head and wiped the pool of sunset sierra liquid from underneath his chin.

“Hmph!” was all the dipsomaniac said.

“You’ve come here every night for the last week, reeking of defeat. What the hell is going on?”

“I’ll tell you,”  said the man with the soup-stained face, “I let the boss get away.”

“Your boss got away?”

“Nah, I let the final boss escape. I’m a video game hero; I beat bad guys for a living. That’s my one job and I failed miserably. I mean,” he said as he flicked the empty shot glass with his pinky finger, “how would you feel about that?”

“That’s rough, man. But don’t look too down. Also It’s not really business-smart for me to say this, but,” he said as he snatched away the shot glass, “this isn’t the solution.”

The soup-stained man mumbled something inaudible. His eyes were downcast because he lived in a world that now always seemed overcast. He was silent for two minutes before the bartender said something.

“Hey, don’t video games usually have “continue” buttons or whatever? Can’t you get back up after failing and try again?”

The soup stained man’s eyes grew wide, and he sat bolt upright as if Zeus’ lightning had stunned him awake.

“Of course!”

He slicked back his hair with a little greasy soup, tugged on his coat until the wrinkles disappeared and rushed out the door. He only rushed back in for a second to throw a couple of gold coins on the bar before he bounced.

The bartender shook his head as he looked at the other patrons.

“Geez… Can you believe that guy? These are the heroes we have nowadays. They sure don’t make ’em like they used to. I’ll tell you that much.”

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1 Comment

Filed under Video Game Misc.

One response to “The Bad Guy That Got Away

  1. I enjoyed this story, although it did remind me of Ray-Man on the Sega Saturn. I remember that, each time I lost a life, Ray-Man would be shown crying in an alley. When I pressed the button to use another continue, an alarm would ring, causing Ray-Man to jolt and joyfully cartwheel back to the level.

    Liked by 1 person

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