To begin, you will need 500 mg of Doctor Von Blunderbuss’ magic elixir. You’ll know you have the right product when you see the green and purple bubbles boiling, and your nostrils sting from a strong a sulfur smell. After downing the bubbles, this product will ignite your adrenaline, and give you the edge you need to be a winner.
Other doctor hate this guy’s powerful elixir because he’s putting them out of business. And you can have this powerful product all to yourself to fuel your gaming marathons. But don’t stop there!
Try the new “Bat” visor with patented aim assist technology. For the visor to be effective, you must wear it all the time and learn to see the world as we want you to see it. But this control over your vision is a small price to pay. After all, you can beat the pros at their own game. You can take on gaming legends and win without them ever knowing what hit them. Now you could settle for beating the pros and other enemies, or y0u could go further. You could have these enemies begging at your feet for mercy. To get them begging, you need to use “The Edge.”
“The Edge” is a pill that has been clinically shown to eliminate all distractions from your play time. No person or thing can stop you from dominating in your digital fantasy playground. Believe in yourself. And then take this dangerous drug that allows us to control your mind, and you’ll win in no time.
Wait! You don’t need any of this junk. You want one trick to get better at video games? Play them more.