Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo Declare Peace

The Great Console War Comes to an End

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! The Big Three sue for peace. And I mean the Big Three because when they sit down to negotiate they take up five couches each.

Yesterday at 12 o’clock noon, the guns stopped firing. All sides shut down their massive propaganda machines. At first, it didn’t seem like the machines would stop, but they soon ran out of grease.

The factory assembly lines fell silent too. Workers put down their scorching torches and went outside to breathe fresh for the first time in years. The workers’ hammers ceased hitting nails while the Big Three hammered out a deal .

The cessation of hostilities and new-found peace could not conceal the ugly hatred in some gamers’ hearts. These gamers, spewing venom at the other side and foaming at the mouth, wanted to finish the fight. Other gamers, their loyalty to console makers stretched to the breaking point, cried with joy: the war was over for them. Life could go on.

A representative for the Big Three said: “We recommend that our millions of fans go back to their lives before the war. Enjoy video games. Enjoy life. Above all, let us learn from the mistakes of the past and build a better world.”

It remains unclear how the Big Three will enforce this peace.

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