Tag Archives: news

The Great Video Game Crash of 2017

I was at home playing video games when I heard the terrible news. Truth be told, I was spread out on my couch, in my pajamas, holding a beer in one hand and tapping “X” as fast as my fingers would allow without blistering. Then I felt deep in my bones that something bad was about to happen. Some grave misfortune was looming and an eerie creaking sound, which made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, seemed to confirm this.

I tried to watch a little T.V. news to distract myself from this warning. Instead, the disaster, unbeknownst to me at that time, was already in motion as I glued my eyes to the screen. This disaster had an insidious history,  and I was about to experience it for the first time. And after watching the screen for one minute, I sensed — but still didn’t clearly see — that something was wrong.

I couldn’t believe the absolute chaos! First one fell, then another toppled, and I heard a cracking sound and thud before the entire structure collapsed. I felt a tremor on the ground, could feel the dust in the air and could see it on my shirt. The dust even clogged my nose, causing me to breathe through my mouth and cough.

I turned to my right and noticed my shelf full of video games had fallen over and cases littered the floor. Did you not hear me? All the games I had organized, even when feeling feverish, were now a disorganized mess. What a disaster!

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Filed under Video Game Trends

Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo Declare Peace

The Great Console War Comes to an End

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! The Big Three sue for peace. And I mean the Big Three because when they sit down to negotiate they take up five couches each.

Yesterday at 12 o’clock noon, the guns stopped firing. All sides shut down their massive propaganda machines. At first, it didn’t seem like the machines would stop, but they soon ran out of grease.

The factory assembly lines fell silent too. Workers put down their scorching torches and went outside to breathe fresh for the first time in years. The workers’ hammers ceased hitting nails while the Big Three hammered out a deal .

The cessation of hostilities and new-found peace could not conceal the ugly hatred in some gamers’ hearts. These gamers, spewing venom at the other side and foaming at the mouth, wanted to finish the fight. Other gamers, their loyalty to console makers stretched to the breaking point, cried with joy: the war was over for them. Life could go on.

A representative for the Big Three said: “We recommend that our millions of fans go back to their lives before the war. Enjoy video games. Enjoy life. Above all, let us learn from the mistakes of the past and build a better world.”

It remains unclear how the Big Three will enforce this peace.

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Filed under Video Game Misc.