Are you cool? Well you might be very uncool and not even know it.
Here’s a simple test: do you still play video games? If you answered yes, then you’re uncool. Video games are so last year, and the cool kids would never be caught playing them.
Do you want to be cool? Then play video game substitutes just like everyone else.
Start by taking out the trash to the front of house. Do this while jumping over the cracks in the sidewalk to avoid falling into a fiery lava pit beneath you. You might not see the pit, but rest assured, it has claimed many victims and their stinky garbage.
The most popular substitute, though, is dish washing. Wash and dry your dishes — by hand — before the timer runs out! You want to talk about survival horror? Try surviving the horror of a sink overflowing with dirty dishes.
In short, video game substitutes are sweeping the nation, and offering you the chance to be cool. Don’t delay! Pick up a broom and sweep the front porch.
Life has a way of keeping you from playing video games. You’re ready to play but then there’s a massive power outage in your neighbourhood. Or you have to catch up on your homework because you’ve used that “my dog ate my homework” excuse too many times. Maybe you’re faced with a laundry list of chores.
You have to do these tasks and probably see them as a pain you can’t avoid. At best, you might see them as a thing you’re doing when you could be playing video games. However, you could look at these tasks in a different way.
You see, these tasks could be a fun game to pass the time. The tasks or chores could become video game substitutes. They are substitutes because they temporarily replace the video games you really want to play until you have time to boot up your PC, handheld or console. They are not video games, and they are not slickly produced by a team. All you need to start playing these substitutes is an imagination.
Here are some game substitutes you can try today. Play concentration while sorting your socks. To start, pull your crackly, staticky socks out of the dryer, throw them in a hamper and mix them up. Then, see how many pairs you can match before you crave video games and break into a sweat. If you’re living on your own, like me, the game might break down eventually when you’re left with an odd number of unmatched socks.
You could also time yourself while you clean your pots, pans and kitchen after a big party. See if you can clean up this mess before the five-minute timer runs out.
Finally, you could pretend the stains on your kitchen floor are aliens who have enslaved humanity. Every time you wipe one away, you are freeing your brothers and sisters from servitude. You’d have fun playing, have a clean apartment and save humanity. Thank you in advance.
Do you not have enough time in your life to play video games? You should give video game substitutes a chance. You might find you like them even more than the real thing.
A sea of silver game disc backsides;
Quartz mine on a shiny summer day.