Tag Archives: funny

Termination Letter from a Video Game Boss to a Henchman

You’d make an effective doormat.

How can I maximize my coins when you constantly shuffle in late to work and fail to destroy my enemies? I mean, you let the “good guy” and his loser brother stomp on you. Other times, you let them hop over you while you walk away in the opposite direction.

When the good guy jumps over you, you should pursue him to the next level, but you don’t. You just sit there and don’t even warn the other henchmen to attack the incoming enemy. Your communication skills leave much to be desired.

Your coworkers find it hard to both talk and work with you because you have such a bad attitude. We see you have a permanent frown painted on your face and you stick out your fangs all the time like some of kind mean, land lubbing walrus. I expect more from my henchman.

I’ve only kept you at the company this long because I have a serious shortage of skilled labour. The “good guy” has squished too many of my most hard-working and loyal henchmen. How I wish he could have squished you in their place.

I’m sorry, but you can no longer be one of my henchman. Good day!

Sincerely,

Mr. Evil Boss

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Filed under Video Game Misc.

7 Signs You’re a Non Gamer

1. You vaguely recall seeing swarms of people packed into dimly lit arcades in days gone by. You’re sure they always had their quarters ready to start a new game. One day, years later, you see a “Games” folder on your computer and start jamming quarters into the disc tray.

2. You heard about an advertisement for “gamer fuel.” You decided to get some for your new console. So you went down to the station to get some gasoline.

3. Your friends say they decided to skip work to play the latest AAA video game. You thought a AAA game had something to do with getting a  broken down car out of the mud.

4. Your friends grab the magic mushrooms in Mario games and encourage you to do the same. You’re afraid the mushrooms are wild, deadly and possibly psychedelic. And you’re pretty sure this is peer pressure.

5. You spend more time playing with the box that your console came in than with the console itself. You might also be a baby — babies are known to do this after all.

6. You thought the disc tray in a video game console was a coaster.

7. When your friend said he loved to play with Mario and Luigi, you thought he loved spending time with your Italian cousins.


What other signs are there that one is a non gamer?

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Filed under Non Gamers