[A security camera’s live feed shows a man snooping around my kitchen and helping himself to some tasty goodies. I recognize the armor.]
Me: Master Chief, you mind telling me what you’re doing inside my fridge?
Chief: Adam, finishing this sandwich.
Me: Nooooooo! That’s my patented peanut butter and jelly stuffed French toast. You know I was looking forward to eating the last delectable morsels of that sandwich. How dare you! I want you out of my sight when I get back to the apartment tonight. Out! Do you hear me??? 😡
Chief: Wake me when you need me. I’ll be taking a long nap.
Me: Ugggh! And leave me to clean up after your peanut butter party. Some hero you are. You save humanity but don’t clean up after yourself. I should have been roomies with the Arbiter. You make me I wish I had never met my video game heroes.