Category Archives: Video Games I Play

Texting with Video Games Characters – Part III

[I started texting Gordon Freeman to “catch up.” I’ve decided to be polite and not share his number or address on my blog.]

Me (April 2, 2009 3:10 pm): Gordo! How ya been, buddy!? It’s your ol’ pal, Adam. I haven’t heard a peep from you in years.

Me (April 2, 2009 3:11 pm): Hey, it’s been a minute since I sent my message. Did you get it?

Me (April 2, 2009 3:12 pm): Cause I’m still here… It’s cool though. I can wait.

Me (April 2, 2009 3:14 pm): Hey man, jus checkin’ if you got my three other messages. I can re-send them if you didn’t. Let me know.

Me (May 1, 2009 12:09 pm): Can I at least come by to play games?

Me (June 19, 2009 2 pm): Alright, it’s been a while, and I won’t lie: I was hoping to talk to you about something I’ve been looking forward to.

Me (August 13, 2009 11:00 am): I can’t believe you’d give an old friend the cold shoulder like this!

Me (December 7, 2009 10:26 am): You got some nerve ignoring me after all these years! And after all we fought through together? All I’m looking for is one thing. You know what I want.

Me (December 26, 2009 1 pm): Screw you, Gordon!

Me (March 22, 2010 6 pm): I’m so sorry for what I said to you in the supermarket the other day. I should have put the pineapple down and stopped screaming. You were so stoic in the face of my sojourn from sanity. I didn’t mean any of it. I wish I could take it back. I hope you’ll forgive me.

Me (March 22, 2010 12:30 am): I’ve just been under a lot of stress lately. I haven’t been myself. I got a lot on my mind and a lot I’m looking forward to.

Me (November 19, 2010 8 pm): Did you get the present I left you on your front doorstep? I’m not expecting anything for myself but I got another surprise for you… we’re neighbours now! ๐Ÿ˜€

Me (February 27, 2011 10 pm): Gordon, you hard at work on smthg?

Me (February 28, 2011 12:15 am): Got any new projects to announce?

Me (February 28, 2011 3:06 am): Please, Gordon, I’m dyin’ here, man! You got any leads for ol’ Adam?

Me (February 28, 2011 4:32 am): Okay, okay. I’ll give you 1 mill for some news about HL3. You know I’m good for it. So please tell me!ย  And I won’t tell a soul.

Me (February 28, 2011 5:13 am): I’ll take ANYTHING man!!! Come on!!!!!

[Message from Cell Service Provider:] Click to view a report about the last message you wrote.

[My internal monologue at 5:15 am: What’s this? I knew you couldn’t stay mad at me! I knew you’d respond.]

[Message from Cell Service Provider:] The previous message to G. Freeman could not be delivered.

[My internal monologue at 5:17 am: Well, at least I didn’t embarrass myself.]

Me (February 29, 2011 7:03 pm): I was such a fool last night. I’m better than that.

Me (March 1, 2011 2 pm): I’m so sorry for my behaviour the other day. I lost it again. I think it’s best for both of us if I disappear for a while.

Me (October 1, 2017 4:16 pm): I’m much better and care free now! Thanks for asking.

Me (January 1, 2018 2:12 pm): Oh, I see what you’re doing ;). You’re playing that old game where you pretend not to know me. Well, two can play that.

Me (February 7, 2018 6 pm):ย ย  … ???

Me (August 9, 2018 7:08 pm): You’re really good at this game, Gordon. You can give it up at any time now!

Me (April 8, 2019 5 pm): It’s my bday today! ๐Ÿ˜€ Any updates? ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Filed under Video Game Misc., Video Games I Play, Video Games I Want

Texting with Video Game Characters – Part II

I’m in the plumbing business with Mario and Luigi; it’s my side gig.

***

Me (3:oo pm):

Hey guys, I’m headin round the corner to get some coffee and donuts. You can unpack the tools, but don’t touch anything else until I get back. I gotta check out the problem before we start workin.

Me (3:10 pm):

Did you guys set up the tools? I’m about to head back.

Mario (3:11 pm):

Mama mia!

Me (3:11 pm):

What’s wrong???

Mario (3:12 pm):

Photo of a sink pipe that Mario broke

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo of a faucet that Mario and Luigi broke.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me (3:14 pm):

๐Ÿ˜ฒ You knuckleheads! Why I oughta… I left you alone for five minutes, told you not to do anything and now this happens. I thought you guys had like over twenty-five years of plumbing experience.

Luigi (3:15 pm):

No, no, no! Mama mia! Ohhh boy.

Me (3:16 pm):

You guys are making us into the Three Stooges here. Let’s hope we don’t wind up in front of a judge.

Mario (3:17 pm):

Wahoo! Let’s-a go!

Luigi (3:17 pm):

Okey dokey!

Me (3:18 pm):

Heyyyy I’m not going to take the fall for this! ๐Ÿ˜  You wise guys stay where you are. I’m coming.

Me (3:19 pm):

Oh how I wish I’d never got into this business with you. I should just stick with blogging.

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Texting with Video Game Characters

[A security camera’s live feed shows a man snooping around my kitchen and helping himself to some tasty goodies. I recognize the armor.]

Me: Master Chief, you mind telling me what you’re doing inside my fridge?

Chief: Adam, finishing this sandwich.

Me: Nooooooo! That’s my patented peanut butter and jelly stuffed French toast. You know I was looking forward to eating the last delectable morsels of that sandwich. How dare you! I want you out of my sight when I get back to the apartment tonight. Out! Do you hear me??? ๐Ÿ˜ก

Chief: Wake me when you need me. I’ll be taking a long nap.

Me: Ugggh! And leave me to clean up after your peanut butter party. Some hero you are. You save humanity but don’t clean up after yourself. I should have been roomies with the Arbiter. You make me I wish I had never met my video game heroes.

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Expand Your Gaming Horizons

When was the last time you dusted off your passport? You might think I am talking about the documents you use to explore, play, laugh and cry in foreign lands. You would be correct; only I am thinking of a passport to explore digital worlds made in foreign lands. I encourage you to play games made by foreign developers and explore digital lands made by people with different perspectives.

You might have already played games made by Japanese, North American and European developers, and I have as well. My passport, as it were, is both well-worn and stamped.ย  To focus on Japan, I have, of course, played Nintendo and Sega games but not much else.

Then I started playing Okami and Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch. These are two beautiful Japanese games that I love. I started playing them because I had looked for titles I had not yet played on PlayStation 3. I was not looking for Japanese PlayStation 3 video games at the time. I was looking for great games because I had bought this console late in its existence and wanted to play the best this system could offer, even though new consoles had arrived. The art of these two games, which I saw in reviews and impressions, intrigued me and piqued my interest.

Okami is a beautiful game made by the now defunct Clover Studio in Japan. I think this Japanese team poured their heart and soul into this game, and you can see this in every stream and peaceful garden in this work. They made this beautiful world while also drawing on Japan’s rich stories to tell a tale about freeing the land from darkness. For example, Amaterasu, the main character, is named after the Shinto sun goddess. The game also features a world that looks like a moving Japanese painting. To save this world, players add to the beauty and paint a better day. I felt had much more to learn about Japanese history after playing, even though I had taken one course on the subject. That the game was beautiful was crystal clear.

Ni No Kuni, which I have not finished, is the second game. Level-5, also a Japanese video game developer, created it with help from famed Japanese animation company Studio Ghibli. The artwork, especially the varied landscapes of a dry desert, active lava-spewing Volcano and haunted trails worthy of a terrible nightmare, grabbed my attention. The adorable creatures begged me to keep playing. Then the game exceeded my expectations by sending me ascending toward the heavens on a dragon. Unlike Okami, I’m not aware if any of Japan’s central stories or myths are in this game. Yet Ni No Kuni features a Pokemon-like battle system and proudly sports Japanese in its title.

Okami and Ni No Kuni are both beautiful games, and I’m glad to have read about and then played them. I would encourage everyone to expand their gaming horizons: play video games made by developers in different countries. You might not learn anything about life in that country โ€”ย  I know I did not โ€” but you could learn to appreciate different perspectives on making games. You might change the way you think about video games. You might even understand the world and people better than you did before. You might become a more open-minded person who has developed a sense of beauty and a love for humanity, not a love of mere discs.

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Fly on the Purple Dragon

I have a secret. On weeknights, long after I’ve finished my button-downed day, I unbutton my dress shirt, make dinner and then fly to the sky’s edge. Based on my title, and my description so far, you might have arrived at any number of erroneous assumptions about this post and me. You might have thought I was talking about flying on a fun, new airline. You might have thought, and I’d forgive you, that I was talking about some crazy new drug. And you might have thought I’m talking about hitching a ride on a massive purple beast. You’d be wrong about all three of these. Wait! Yeah, I’m talking about riding on top of a purple dragon named Tengri.

A pirate I met introduced me to Tengri, who was very sick at the time. I managed to cure the dragon by traveling between two different worlds, just like any other Thursday night. Then Tengri became my loyal and faithful friend โ€” several thousand feet in the air.

There’s an aura of elegance that surrounds Tengri both in the air and on land. His purple body shines a little as it gracefully flies through the air. Even the way I summon the dragon has a touch of class: I blast a trumpet in upward, and he swoops down to gingerly place me on his back.

Then we flew all over the world’s exotic locales last night. We soared over shimmering desert sands featuring palm trees and an oasis. From the sands, we made a wrong turn into a nightmarish cemetery with ghastly ghouls. Frightened, we flew away using Tengri’s speed bursts, where he collapses his wings, twirls and shoots forward, to ascend a giant volcano. Now the volcano wasn’t the wisest choice, but we couldn’t resist hovering over as it spewed molten lava all over the environment. He and I are both stuck in adolescent phase, after all, where we think fire is cool. Happily, we escaped without a scrape or a burn, and cooled off on an island where winter never ends, where your eyebrows freeze in seconds.

I bet that, after reading this far, you think I’m crazy. I might be. But I think you should fly on a dragon too. The flight might take you and your life to new heights.


In case it isn’t obvious, the video game I’m talking about is Ni No Kuni. This post is not a review of that game. This post is my impression of Tengri’s beauty and elegance in flight.

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Low Artificial Intelligence Is a Good Thing

Thanks Mr. Bad Guy for walking into the wall and getting stuck there. You were about to attack me. But you became lodged in concrete and started to convulse as if I was electrocuting you.

The developers of the game would probably be embarrassed by these convulsions. Maybe they would feel like they had done a poor job if some of their enemy characters had poor artificial intelligence. Maybe they’d wish they could fix all the game’s bugs.

I think the developers did me a huge favour. I was having a hard time getting through the level before the bad guy got stuck. Sometimes low artificial intelligence is a good thing.

 

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Even Heroes Lose Their Save Files

Master Chief and Mario, our heroes and the greatest protectors of life on earth, decided to unwind. They sat down to play video games.

***

Mario: “Heya Chief! Hows about we play Okami.ย  Take control of Ammy and let’s a go!”

Master Chief: “Sure, Mario I’ll show you my way mad skills. Is that what the kids say?”

Once there was a dark wasteland before the white wolf. The darkness threatened to consume the peace on the land. Then Chief took control of Ammy and suddenly blossoming flowers, flame and bright lightning cascaded together. A rainbow formed in the sky and everything shone brilliantly.

Master Chief: “I did it! I restored beauty to the land.”

Mario: “Chief, you da best.”

Master Chief: “Well, they don’t call me a master for nothing.”

Mario: “That’sa lame.”

Master Chief: “Well, I’m a professional hero who fights aliens; humour isn’t my thing. Lay off me.”

Mario: “Look! Something’s wrong with the screen.”

Master Chief: “Huh? Noooooo!”

The screen froze after Chief had unlocked the two trophies for catching all fish and beatingย  the last devil gate trial.

Mario: “Chief, is that a tear running down your visor?”

Master Chief: “N-no… it’s nothing” [sniffle]. Come on we better get back to work. My job is to save the world. I was a fool to think I’d be good at these stupid video game things.”

Mario: “Wahoo! Let’s ago!”

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Filed under Silly Video Game Inspired Fiction, Video Game Misc., Video Games I Play