Tag Archives: next gen

Mock Advertisement: Expand Your Mind with This Implant

Expand your mind today while playing video gamesThe Next-Gen Begins in Your Head

You can now play video games with your thoughts.

No more need for controllers, a mouse, or motion control!

Just buy Brain Rot Inc.’s head implant, sit back and rot your brains while playing video games all day long.

Then you feel like a mindless, puddle drooling zombie.

Here’s how you can become zombie:

Step 1:

Let us drill a small hole in your skull. Trust us, you won’t feel a thing.*

Step 2:

We lodge our new brain implant into your head.**

Step 3:

Glue yourself to your couch and play our video games non-stop for several days.

Step 4:

Go forth and munch on brains. We recommend free range brains only.


Disclaimer:

  • You will turn green over several months before you look like a mindless zombie. In the meantime, test subjects should refrain from eating loved ones.
  • You are willing to lose several brain cells.
  • You agree not to hold us responsible for the loss of your brain cells.

*Note: We’ll try to make sure you don’t feel anything, but we can’t make promises.

** You allow us to make a little room in your head, if necessary. Though we shouldn’t see too much if you’ve played our games for long enough.

(If you have no idea what I’m talking about, read my post, Move Over, Motion Control! Play Video Games with Your Thoughts)

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My Xbox Has a Message for the Next-Gen… from the Grave

three red lightsMy Xbox 360 breathed its last breath two years ago. It wheezed and probably coughed up a lot of house dust. Then the dreaded three red lights appeared and mocked me.

Before that, I was cruising along fun highway without a care in the world. The three red lights were like a flat tire that forced me to pull over to the curb.

It was game over.

I thought about what I would do next. Could I ever learn to trust Xbox again? Would I stay single by taking myself off the console circuit?

Well, not long after that tragedy, I started to court the PS3 and fell for it. Here’s five reasons why I choose the PS3:

1. Disconnect

Kinect isn’t for me. I’m also not interested in Move, and I think Sony knows that.

2. More cool but meaningless numbers

I love trophies. Earning them is a RPG lover’s dream come true because they count towards your PSN level. Even better, I love to earn the platinum trophy in a game. Getting that platinum is like reaching the top of a mountain, planting a flag to claim it, and yelling with joy.

3. Can’t Survive on Halo Alone

Halo was one of the main reasons why I bought an Xbox 360. After a year or two, I was full. But PlayStation games, like Journey and Uncharted, beg for me to play them. They’re too good to ignore.

4. No more death

I didn’t want to see the three red lights again. They’re red hot glow is forever seared in my head.

5. Felt like something different

I wasn’t angry when my Xbox 360 died. I had always secretly wanted a PS3 but didn’t have the time to play with two consoles. In fact, I was happy when my Xbox died because now Sony’s machine was within my grasp. Looking back, it seems like everything worked out in the end.

A lesson for the next Gen from the Xbox Cemetery

New consoles are coming soon. You’re going to hear all about the great next-gen features that they have. Let’s hope the next-gen includes a failure free future or at least less fail. My continued support for the consoles will depend on it.

What about you?

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