Tag Archives: gamers

Video Game Zombies Take a Break

A sinister night has descended upon an innocent town. A large, white moon provides a touch of light and beauty. Then the camera reveals two zombies standing peacefully on a plain black road with a bright yellow line. The zombies are surrounded by trees that seem even darker than the road’s asphalt. Nothing else is visible. There is no escape.

Zombie 1: “Hey Fred, how long you been out here?”

Zombie 2 takes his cigarette out of his mouth and turns around. One of his eye balls is hanging by a thread.

Zombie 2: “Ha! Too long, Sam; this new guy is terrible.”

Zombie 1: “Yeah, I’ve heard things: I heard he once got lost at the start menu.”

Zombie 2: “You heard right. You know, I saw him wandering around in circles for 30 minutes. I just shook my nearly hollow and decomposing head. Then I had to stop and have a smoke to settle my nerves.”

Zombie 1: “Man, they sure don’t make gamers like they used to.”

Zombie 2: “You’re right about that my friend. You’re right about that.”

Awkward silence.

Zombie 1: “Hey, so, did I tell you my son is getting married?”

Zombie 2: “Wow! That is great news. Little Jimmy is all grown up, huh?”

Zombie 1: “Yeah, yeah and it feels like it was only yesterday when his mother and I watched him eat his first brains. We’re so proud. Now Sarah and I are thinking about retiring. I mean we paid off the mortgage and…”

Zombie 2: “Look! Here he comes. Act stupid.”

Zombie 1 and 2: [Snarling] “Grrrrrrrr Brains!”

Player 1 ran in to a tree and appeared on screen. He looked up and then down and couldn’t walk in a straight line.

Zombie 1 and 2: [Sighs].

Zombie 1: “This is going to be a long night.”

Fred shakes his head and Sam facepalms himself.


Filed under Video Game Misc.

Non-Gamers Aren’t Weird

“Non-gamers are weird.”

Someone searched for this phrase and landed on my blog. This type of thinking bothers me because it prevents both gamers and non gamers from getting along, and it paints a silly picture of both sides. Really both sides could do better.

The phrase makes all non gamers look bad. It paints this group of people all one color with a swift and silly stroke. And it doesn’t even explain what “weird” is. You could never prove such a ridiculous claim about so many people.

Gamers who agree with the phrase also look immature. The phrase offers no evidence for its irresponsible claim. Worse yet, the phrase attacks a large group of people instead of offering a thought-provoking statement. It’s as dumb as calling someone a name that a six year old would use.

Some gamers might find this phrase to be cute. It points out, in an immature way, that there are differences between gamers and non-gamers. It might bring a smirk to your face. But it isn’t funny for long.

Can’t we all we get along? Phrases like the one that began this article will not help us achieve this goal. If we all do get along, then I hope people will see video games and gamers in a positive light. Perhaps some people will then play video games for the first time.

I hope more people will challenge their negative assumptions about video games and play them for the first time. I want everyone to have fun, and I think video games offer that experience. But I can’t force non gamers to try this hobby, and it won’t help to call them names. We have to approach each other with mutual understanding and respect. Let’s do it!


Filed under Non Gamers

Why You Should Play Video Games

Check your silly assumptions at the door. I’ve got five reasons why you should play video games now. Your old excuses just won’t cut it anymore. Your silly stereotypes will fall apart as your read this list.

Your stubborn resolve not to play will crumble like a cookie before this mighty list. You’ll be playing video games before you finish this post. Do you dare read to my list? Continue in 3, 2, 1…

5 Reasons Why You Should Play Video Games

1. Meet some new people

Not all gamers are pasty nerds who live in windowless bunkers. Gamers have lives. We’re normal people. So come join us for a game or two and toss away those silly stereotypes.

2. Blow off some steam

We’ve all had rough days at school or work. Those rough days make you want to explode with anger sometimes. Here’s a better idea: play a video game before the steam comes out of your ears.

3. Find out what all the fuss is about.

Video game companies rake in millions of dollars. Some video games have shattered entertainment sales records.

Have you ever wondered what makes these games so appealing? There’s only one way to find out.

4. You have heroic tendencies

The other day you thought about bashing down a house’s door to save a cat from a raging inferno that threatened to consume everything in its path. But then you chickened out.

Don’t bother looking for cats to save from burning houses. Instead, you can play as a plumber who saves princesses from castles and shoots fireballs from his hands.

5. Interactive storytelling and fun

Everyone loves a good story. You write, read and watch them on the big screen.

You can also play through a story in a video game. However, let’s be honest, great storytelling in video games is still rare. Right now, that storytelling is like an infant taking her first steps in the world. Sometimes that kid will fall and other times she’ll sail along.

You know what else? Many games have boring stories, but many are still fun to play.


How would you persuade someone to play video games for the first time?


Filed under Non Gamers

Help! I’m a Video Game Snail

video game snailVideo game snails are people who play games in a slow fashion.

Take a look at how I played Mass Effect 2. I started it in February and didn’t finish until a couple of months later. Yes, it’s a huge game, but I played through it at a snail’s pace.

I take my time playing games because life is busy. Family, friends, cooking, writing, reading, volunteering, biking, running, and all the other hobbies in my life take up time.

Other snails might have their own reasons for taking so much time to finish a game. Their interest in video games might wax and wane. They could be playing games for the first time. They might feel the need to collect everything and see the number “100%” pop up. Or maybe a pesky bird swooped down from the sky and tried to eat them. Who knows for sure?

But one thing is certain about snails: it takes them a while to cross the finish line in a game.

That’s One Fast Hedgehog!

Hedgehogs – like Sonic – are the opposite of snails. Hedgehogs race through the latest game so they can play the next one. They might finish video games, but they don’t stick around long after they’ve done everything.

Why are they so fast? I suspect hedgehogs want to play all the good games that come out during the year. Perhaps they crave variety to have fun.


So are you a snail or a hedgehog?



Filed under Video Game Misc.

7 Signs You’re a Lazy Gamer

Lazy GamersWhat are the seven signs you’re a lazy gamer? Why, I’ve conveniently listed them here for you to check. You know, if you can’t get up to do your own research.

If you meet three or more items on this list, you are probably lazy. But you can improve. Here’s the list.

1. You’ve left all of your game discs on the floor, the table, or in mismatched cases. Even worse, they’ve been out for so long a thick blanket of dust has covered them. Are you going to organize them? Let’s get serious; you probably won’t.

2. The birds sing sweet songs. The sun is rising. And you’re still stuck on your couch. You clutch a controller with your claws and stare at a screen with bloodshot eyes. Is there a Visine for gamers too?

3. Your leaning tower of pizza boxes and Chinese food is about to crash to the ground. Don’t forget to clean up before the mice come.

4. You’re still playing twenty year old games because you won’t bother to buy new ones online or at the store. Is it nostalgia? Nah, new games mean you have to move, and you won’t do that.

5. There’s more dust on your consoles than the snow outside your house during a blizzard. Some of those consoles, like your Wii, have the most dust because you never use them. You’re not alone on this one.

6. You’ve played for so long you haven’t even noticed the seasons changed outside. People slip and slide all over your icy sidewalk, and you don’t care. Watch out for lawsuits.

7. You sat on the couch for so long that you started to grow roots.

The good news is that you’ve identified your problem. There’s still hope for you.


Filed under Video Game Misc.

5 Simple Rules for Gamers to Play Nice Together and Make the World Better

5 rules for gamers playing video gamesSo many sports and games have rules to keep players in line. What  do video games have?

Oh, sure, individual video games have rules like shoot or die or jump to survive. But how should gamers treat each other?

I started with an ambitious goal: I wanted to write a list of ten rules for gamers. I got a little lazy and my creativity dried up, so I capped this list off at five.  Here’s my five rules.

  • Don’t steal any person’s consoles, PC, or game collection.
  • Don’t pirate games.
  • Don’t engage in friendly fire.
  • Stand up for gaming as a hobby and don’t let people mock it.
  • Whenever possible, introduce other people to video games and have some fun out there!

Can you come up with 5 more or some better rules? Share them in the comments below.

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Filed under Video Game Misc.