Tag Archives: video games

Was it “Love at First Sight”?

What was your first experience with video games? What happened during this experience and when?

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Filed under Video Games: Reader Q&A

Help! My Games Are Playing Themselves

Tequila bottles littered the floor. Glasses, half full of water from melted ice, sat ignored by their former owners. Partygoers had become party departers, leaving streamers scattered on the floor.

Even though Steve was out amidst this once lively background, his ear tuned in to hear some strange noise. The noise sounded like a static shower on one of those old fashioned salt and pepper TV stations. His brain jolted him awake.

“Huh!?” Steve exclaimed.

He sat upright so fast that all the plastic cups resting on top of him, and they were legion, toppled over onto the ground. At the same time, it felt as if someone had squeezed lime juice into his eyes. He rubbed them to try to bring himself some relief.

“Wh-What’s going on? What’s that noise?” Steve asked. One plastic cup remained curiously perched on top of the fly of his jeans. The static sound dissipated, fading into the ether. Steve now saw — with his eyes, not his mind — the TV displayed a video game that seemed to be playing itself!

He heard the tell-tale bleep and bloops. He saw Mario scurry across the screen in desperate pursuit of performance-enhancing mushrooms; you know, the typical games we grew up playing as kids.

“Who’s playing Mario?” Steve asked a cold and empty room.

“Steve, Steve we’ve totally got this covered, brozef. Just go back to sleep, dude,” replied an unknown voice.

Steve’s eyes grew wide as the moon. He looked around the whole room. A cold sweat ran down his face, even while his cheeks burned as hot as a furnace. “Who is in my house playing my games?” he wondered to himself. He scanned the ceiling, the fridge, the bathroom and even peeked under the carpet — all to no avail. No one was there.

“I don’t even know who you are; much less why you are playing my stuff. I mean, who do you think you are coming into my house and playing my games. A man works hard just so that he can put games on the table and play them in his underwear,” he said.

“Dude, it’s okay. Look, we even got you past the massive caterpillar boss who was giving you a hard time.”

“Well,” Steve said, “I was having trouble with that part; that’s true. Alright, maybe I will let you guys play my games. I wish more mysterious strangers were as thoughtful as you.”

The strange voice replied, “Yeah, yeah don’t worry about it, man. Get some rest. We got this!”

Steve collapsed on top of the plastic cups, flattening them on the floor in the process. Over, and over and over the games kept playing themselves.

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Filed under Video Game Misc.

Have You Learned Anything from Playing Video Games?

If so, what did you learn and how?

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Filed under Video Games: Reader Q&A

Have You Played This Game?

Yesterday, I booted up my Windows PC, a boring task I had done countless times before, to play video games. I expected several hours of gaming free from the powerful forces of commercialism. After all, my usual experience was that of uninterrupted gaming bliss. I had also been thinking earlier that I could outsmart anyone tricking me into buying junk. But a window popped up on my monitor that changed the way I saw the world.

The window said,  “Which of these upcoming video games have you heard of?

  • Halo X
  • God of Belligerence
  • Purveyors of War
  • Rabid Rabbits
  • None of the above.”

“Ah, great, I hate these interactive ads. Alright, I’ll just answer truthfully: I’ll choose Halo X. The truth shall set me free,” I thought.

Click.

I started playing Milky Way Dairy Simulator on my PC and, as I milked my goat, I saw another window. This window said, “Which one of these games do you intend to buy?

  • Halo X
  • God of Belligerence
  • Purveyors of War
  • Rabid Rabbits
  • None of the above.”

“Man I knew I should have chosen none of the above for the first question. That would have stopped ’em for sure. I guess I can choose it this time. I mean, it’s a small lie, and I’ll be too busy playing my game to feel bad.”

Click.

I cleared my throat, stretched my neck, took a deep breath and got back to the game. It was time to check on my cheddar. That is, it seemed like a good time, but a third window popped up on my monitor.

“Why would you lie, Adam? And why did you say ‘That would have stopped ’em…’ No one can stop us!”, it said.

Click. Click. Click!

“Oh, man, they can read my thoughts!”

I pulled out clumps of my hair. I jumped out of my chair. I ran to the window in my apartment before committing an act of self-defenestration and landed in my neighbour’s backyard.

I do not remember what happened during the next couple of hours. Friends say they found me sitting in a stream with blue lips and chattering teeth, rocking back and forth. But, hey, I was free of those ads.

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Filed under Video Game Misc.

You Have the Power to Forgive

Stan’s face was red enough to cook a steak. His clenched jaw was reminiscent of a dog who would not part with a bone. And the vein in his forehead looked ready to burst and spew out burning hot lava. He took a deep breath and decided to take his mind off of the pending explosion.

He reached for the power button on his video game console. He was hoping to play the stress away, to let the unpleasant feelings melt like butter in the sun. Suddenly, he heard a voice and felt a static shock when he tapped the power button.

“You have the power to forgive. Let go.”

Where was the voice coming from? Stan did not know.

He sat there chewing the origin over. The clock seemed to tick and tock without end until he wrote himself a note in his journal. He smiled, the steam dissipated from his ears and his red face cleared up. He knew what he had to do tomorrow.

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Filed under Video Game Misc.

Gotta Get My Daily Dose of Video Games

Last night I realized I had no time to play video games. I realized this as a tear dripped down my cheek while I scrubbed filthy pots with a smelly sponge. Sure, my apartment has never looked cleaner, but my games have never been more neglected.

In a vain attempt to make time for video games, and also because I like writing lists, I decided to do something about my problem. I wrote down six ways to squeeze more games into my life. The list was and is a little half-baked: I wrote it while I was fading in and out of sleep one night.

  1. Take video games with me on my next undercover mission. I can’t discuss this further: it’s top secret.
  2. Play video games while making toast.
  3. Play video games while brushing my teeth.
  4. Play video games while tying my shoes.
  5. Play video games while juggling pots and pans.
  6. Play video games in the shower.    Update: This one was not a good idea. I tried it on Sunday afternoon. I don’t think my hair will grow back. I will be revising the appearance section of my dating profile.

 

 

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Filed under Video Game Misc.

What’s the First Thing That Pops into Your Mind…

when you think of video games?

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Filed under Video Games: Reader Q&A