Tag Archives: video games

April 6, 2014 · 6:18 pm

A Utopia with Video Games

I awoke one morning to the sight of blue light bathing my bedroom.

“Huh, that’s odd,” I thought, “Usually the sun’s golden rays light everything up.”

I looked out the window and saw the sun was a brilliant blue. My eyes widened and my brain froze in disbelief for a minute. Then I did a double take and looked out the window so fast that my neck nearly snapped.

It got weirder. The sky was yellow. The grass was a fiery red and the ocean was green.

“What the…” I muttered as I rubbed my eyes.

I thought of a couple of reasons why I saw the world that way. Maybe I had overdosed on Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, and now I saw the world through a neon lens. Or I might have had too much to drink the night before. Nah, neither hypothesis was correct.

I shrugged off the world’s appearance and checked out my WordPress Reader. There were new posts from all my favourite video game blogs. Time for some good reading.

I scanned the editorials, expecting to find the usual topics, but everything was upside down. Nothing was the same. Video games had changed the world – for the better.

Critics now praised video games for promoting peace in the world. There were even articles on how the U.N. used games to entice countries to lay down their arms. Also, games, among other factors, helped end hunger, poverty, disease and brought all humanity together in love. So, naturally, all the old arguments against playing video games were swept up and thrown into the trash.

It was a utopia – a perfect world – with video games . It seemed like it was only going to get better, yet it all seemed a little too perfect.

Alas, it was not be! My gut feeling was right. I woke up in my bed, the sun was still bright yellow and video games had not helped make the world a perfect place. Not yet anyway…

8 Comments

Filed under Video Game Misc.

Tagged as Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon, utopia, video games

March 30, 2014 · 12:13 pm

The Most Powerful Button Ever

The screen’s glow keeps me warm on a freezing winter’s night. Then space marines, plumbers, flying turtles and giant mushrooms pop out of the screen. Sometimes I’m a giant who takes great strides o’er this fungi in the digital world.

I’m the world’s hero and the music is my anthem. Sometimes I make mistakes and have to re-do things, but I always save the world in the end.

And all I did was tap a power button.

2 Comments

Filed under Video Game Misc.

Tagged as buttons, video games

March 23, 2014 · 6:55 pm

How to Become a Zombie

You don’t need a zombie to bite you. You don’t need an environmental disaster to transform you into one of the undead. There’s also no mystery about how to transform from a human to a zombie. In fact, millions of people can transform into zombies from the comfort of their living room. This practical guide allows you to play all the video games you want and still become one of the undead. You’ll crave brains in no time!

* Note: this process is expensive and can take weeks to finish.

How to Become a Zombie in 7 Easy Steps

1. First, find a desolate basement devoid of any light. A nice bunker is ideal. If you can’t find a decent abode, nail wood over the windows.

2. Ensure you have no contact with the outside world or friends and family. Contact with these people is healthy, and this behaviour is very un-zombie-like.

3. Ensure there are no food sources nearby. So empty your fridge and focus on the task at hand. Then, as a reward for your hard work, you can eat some hands as a zombie.

4. Ensure you have a comfy couch. Ideally, you want to know the couch better and can’t stand to be away from it.

5. Ensure you have all the latest video game consoles and a high-end PC. Plug all of them in front of the couch and place the handhelds next to you. You’ll want huge TVs. The TVs should make your local movie theater seem like a fossil from prehistoric times.

6. Now play video games almost non-stop for one week.

7. Your skin will slowly turn green. Most of what little brains you had will shrivel. You will start to drool puddles of saliva on yourself, but you’re not salivating because of normal hunger. Your hunger for human food – plant or animal – will dissipate. Instead, an insatiable appetite for brains will overpower all other urges.

Congrats! You’re now a zombie.

Please note: I cannot guarantee you will become a zombie.

6 Comments

Filed under Video Game Misc.

Tagged as consoles, PC, silly, video games, zombies

March 16, 2014 · 11:33 pm

Smell a New Video Game

I hold what looks like a shiny, exotic idol in my hand. It induces awe and wonder from me as I gaze upon it.

After courage courses through my veins and my hands stop shaking, I rip the wrapping off. The box lets out a squeak as it rubs against the plastic. But it doesn’t last long. In a few seconds, the plastic is in the trash and the box lies in wait.

I open the box without a second thought, and a factory fresh smell overwhelms me. It reminds me of the carnival, candy apples, and the fun I’ll soon have.

I slide the disc into the tray, escape from everyday life and travel to new and unfamiliar lands. The discovery of these new lands satisfies my digital wanderlust.

But this wanderlust is not an out of control addiction. I don’t have all the money in the world to play all the latest games. Instead I sometimes play games and savour every moment I spend with them.

After savouring the best bits, I sometimes wash it down with some DLC. Alas, the smooth plastic wrap and new game smell are not on the DLC. But I still get a big scoop of joy at a decent price…

You know, life moves pretty fast. You need to stop once in a while, take a big whiff, and breathe in that new game smell. Otherwise the smell might pass you by.

6 Comments

Filed under Video Game Trends

Tagged as DLC, video games, wanderlust

March 9, 2014 · 5:30 pm

Video Game Zeugmas

I beat the video game and the eggs.

I’ll play the game of life and the Xbox with the same winning attitude.

I Love Her More Than Ever

Picture an old man, wrinkled like a dried prune, standing only because of his cane. The neighbourhood kids run to the old man’s front lawn. “Hey mister”, they say, “will you come play video games with us?” “Humph! Games are just for you kids,” replied the old man. He slammed the door, walked away and mumbled something about “more important matters.”

I’ll never be like that old man. Video games are so much fun that I will play them even with grey hair, and my love will remain constant. Yet it took me some time to fall in love with video games.

When I was kid, video games were low on my list of interests. I’m sure sugar rushes and running around were higher priorities. There were plenty of things that also grabbed my attention. I had GI Joes to collect, sports to play, knees to scrape, friends to see, bikes to ride, stories to read and school. It seems like there was not a minute left for games.

I found time to play the NES as a kid, but I did not fall in love with games at that point. In those days, you might have seen my avatar walking in circles and dying often. These deaths pulled me out of the game and made it hard to fall in love. Also, when I played NES, I didn’t find many other enthusiastic gamers. The NES was my big brother’s console, and he was not patient enough to explain how to play most of his games. I occasionally played with friends and parents, but they might only join me when they had nothing else to do.

My family didn’t have any special feelings for video games. Growing up, I didn’t always have the latest console or all the latest games. You see, in my family, a new console was a luxury reserved for a special event. In all my childish wisdom, I thought a new console was as major an investment as, say, a car. I always felt games were beyond my piggy bank budget too.

Then, in 2006, I got an Xbox 360 and fell in love with games. It stopped being all about me. My love affair with games blossomed.

I think there were a couple of reasons why I fell in love with games in my twenties. I’m mature now. At least I think so. I mean, mature enough to sit still, to manage my time and to appreciate art, music and good stories. At the same time, I feel like games have matured or at least improved. Games like Mass Effect 2 told engrossing stories that I hadn’t experienced before. Games like Journey even made me reconsider what makes multiplayer and voice chat. Most of all, games are a great way to have fun and keep a child-like joie de vivre as an adult.

So you’ll find me in the old folks home, rocking in my chair, playing games.

4 Comments

Filed under Video Game Misc.

Tagged as age, hobbies, love, video games

February 23, 2014 · 12:33 pm

Why Play Single Player Video Games?

Playing video games by yourself may sound anti-social. Maybe you think I’m a crazy cat person for even suggesting such an idea. Well, think again.

Here are five reasons why you might want to play games by yourself.

No Anonymous Teenagers

1. You prefer to go out with friends and play your games alone. When you play by yourself, you can side step those angry Xbox Live gamers. I mean, who wants to hear a nine-year old scream like a banshee into a microphone? Well, not me. I don’t know about you.

The Party (of One) Never Ends

2. You can keep playing a single player game even if PSN or Xbox Live crash. There’s no need to sit around and twiddle thumbs. You can also play if you’re friends aren’t online, of if their internet is down. And there are plenty of excellent single player games to keep you busy.

No Friendly Uproar

3. You might be able to quit a single player game without causing an upset. However, if you leave an online multiplayer match early, you’ll let down your team. I guess your team would give you another shot, but first they’d stab you in the back. You don’t always get to choose your team mates.

A Story Just for Me

4. I can get lost in the forests of a story when I play by myself. My friends, sitting on the couch, might die of boredom if they had to watch me move like a snail through a game’s nooks and crannies. My friends might want to jump into the action and skim the story.

The Allure of Shiny Things

5. Sometimes you just want to sit back, relax and unwind with a good game after a hard day. Then you can finish pointless tasks in the game that might bore friends. You can, for instance, get all the trophies or achievements by yourself. Now, I don’t mean those trophies where you have to kill one million bad guys or reach a certain rank online. Who has time for those things?

Of course, there are innumerable great reasons to play with others. There will be memorable moments to share with friends, you might love to compete against others and, most of all, you love to beat them.

But you’ve got to admit that playing games alone is sometimes fun. I know you do it. We all do it, and none of us are crazy cat people.

4 Comments

Filed under Non Gamers

Tagged as alone, play, single player, video games

February 16, 2014 · 11:11 pm

First Person Shooters Are Boring Me

My love of first person shooters has plummeted to an all time low. But that wasn’t always the case. When I was a little game fan, I would blast through Wolfenstein and freeze alien scum without a pause. I didn’t even blink. These days my eyes droop at the sight of first person shooters.

I know why I’m bored with them. It takes more than your average run and gun adventure to pique my interest these days. I’d like to take think my tastes have become more refined since childhood. Hold on one second while I munch on this caviar and sip some Champagne. Mmm that’s good stuff.

Now, as I was saying, I’d like new first person shooters to impress me. They have done so in recent years. One of the most impressive shooters from the 2000s was Call of Duty 4. It was an excellent game. But then we saw that same excellent game everywhere, and we saw it with a number tacked on to the end. Then we watched as other companies made the same style of game as well.

Hordes of fans flocked to these military games and still do. Would you believe I once a met a retired professor who told me he preferred shooting games where things “blow up”? I suspect he would have loved Call of Duty. I do like explosions, I thought to myself as he spoke, but I still want more from the games I play.

I would love to find a new first person shooter that redefines the genre and plays like nothing else before it. This is something of a dream for me, but I hope it can come true.

Some games have come close to answering my dreams. Portal is one of my favourite first person shooters of the last couple years. You use a “gun” of sorts, but you don’t shoot bullets or lasers. You shoot portals. You solve puzzles. That’s brilliant and simple!

I also like first person shooters that borrow flavours from other games genres. Add one cup of puzzle solving, stir in RPG stats with numbers flying across the screen, and top with a good story. Mmmm sounds delicious.

I want a bold first person shooter that tears down old conventions, and I want to play it soon. My joystick trigger is getting itchy.

3 Comments

Filed under Video Games I Want

Tagged as boring, Call of Duty, Portal, video games, Wolfenstein

February 9, 2014 · 10:31 pm

You’re Doing it Wrong

Sometimes I have no idea what how to play a video game. So I sit down like I was in school to learn all about it. But the basics don’t always seep through my rock-like brain. I’m not always a star pupil.

Sometimes you meet other people who have no idea how to play games either. Oh, don’t laugh. We’ve all got lost at some point, even if we’re an unstoppable online hurricane now. So I took that theme of self-inflicted disaster, or failure, in video games and wrote a post about it. Perhaps you can relate to some of these blunders.

Friendly… Explosions?

Tick, tock, Boom! You hear the sound of a clock winding down. Then a massive and unexpected explosion shakes the screen on your TV.

Your comrades lie scattered and charred. You set off a bomb that killed them all. They’re not happy. They hurl vulgarities at you as your headset blares. “It was just a mistake,” you say. Your team mates beg to differ as they move in for the kill.

In Love with the Floor

Your character wanders around in circles and seems obsessed with the floor. His eyes are so focused on the floor that they seem frozen in a downward gaze. Basic movement is a challenge as he bumps into walls and knocks bricks loose like they were Jenga blocks.

But it’s just a simple corridor. Come on! Well, I understand the problem. You can’t use a joy stick to both handle movement and work the “camera”. This drunken movement sometimes occurs when a person picks up a controller for the first time. Take some baby steps, and you’ll get. I promise.

Hey, I couldn’t use chop sticks at first, but I’m an expert now.

The Need for Burnt Out Speed

Jack Trasher, a seedy speed junkie, skids on a side road. Tires screech and civilians scream “run for your life!” Jack’s speeding car careens around a snow bank, flips in the air and lands with a thump. All the glass has shattered. Acrid smoke, which stings the nostrils, seeps through the front of the car.

Next time, drive on the correct side of the road!

A Strategic Surprise

Your heavily armored, shotgun laden trooper bursts through a glass window. Without a moment to spare, the trooper darts through a warehouse blasting holes in the scaly, sickly skin of aliens.

Then you wake up, rub your eyes and peer down at the square-shaped tiles on the ground. Your jaw drops faster than the apple that – supposedly – hit Sir Isaac Newton on the head. Uh oh! You’re in a turn based strategy game.

The shots you fired had a 30% hit rate and, surprise, they hit nothing but air. Now the aliens swarm around and move in for the kill. The 8 ball’s prediction: the next turn will not end well for you.

If Homer Simpson Played Hockey…

Your skates carve and mark the ice as you sail a long with the puck. Your character winds up his stick and time stops. The crowd’s cheers suddenly seem to halt. Then the stick slaps the puck and projects it through an ill-prepared goalie’s legs. You get ready to scream with joy.

There’s only one problem: the net belongs to your team. Doh!

***

What funny mistakes have you made while playing video games? What’s your gaming bête noire? Come on, don’t act shy, I’m sure there’s something.

I often bump into walls when I play racing games, and that’s probably why I don’t play them these days.

6 Comments

Filed under Video Game Misc.

Tagged as blunders, video game bloopers, video games

February 2, 2014 · 12:24 pm

Why I Love to Download Games

I look forward to a future where everyone downloads games to their console or PC. I also hope these downloads would finish in the blink of an eye. I’d dump game discs. I wouldn’t need them anymore.

Well, that future date is up in the air and covered with fog. It’s hard to see when it will touch down on the ground. In the meantime, let me tell you six reasons why I love to download games.

1. Convenience

It’s just plain convenient to download games online. You don’t have to go to the brick and mortar stores of yore. You can keep the creases, folds and impressions that make up your comfortable couch groove.

There is a downside, though, because you can’t always sell downloaded games. Still this might be a small price to pay. I mean, you get an amazing game, and you don’t even have to move.

2. Steam

I think you’ll find it worthwhile just to get a PC for these sales. And it’s tough to resist Valve’s world class games, like Portal and Half Life. Be careful! These video game sales might tempt even a stingy person with a digital wallet.

3. Demos

Downloading and playing a demo is like test driving a car: you get a taste of the full experience. I appreciate that demos are there if I need to take one for a test drive.

I sometimes played demos sometimes during the last generation. I love it when you complete them and unlock rewards, and I had great fun do this with Mass Effect 3.

4. XBLA and PSN

It was amazing to see how XBLA improved. It went from simple but fun games like Geometry Wars to block busters like Shadow Complex. Journey won critical praise and my heart. What improvements will we see during this generation?

5. “Original” games

Journey, Fez, and Bastion are refreshing. These games, and others like them, are a welcome change from the mainstream diet of AAA sequels. In fact, they’re so good that you might find they replace your previous diet and leave you satisfied. Try these downloadable games. You’ll thank me later.

6. DLC

Don’t pelt me with tomatoes just yet. Let me explain. DLC is exciting when it extends the life of a game, and it offers you a different way to play the game. DLC also allows developers to take risks with their game. When it’s done right, DLC keeps me interested.

Tag Archives: video games

A Utopia with Video Games

The Most Powerful Button Ever