Category Archives: Video Game Misc.

What If My Neighbours Were Video Game Characters?

We can’t change some things. They say death and taxes are certain. They say the early bird gets the worm. They say in life you can’t choose your neighbours. What if you could choose which video game characters were your neighbours?

I suppose I could use some sense of security in my neighbourhood. I find myself pale with fear when I consider the scary state of the of the world. To conquer this fear, I’ll build a massive fort replete with everything I need to protect myself. Then I’ll invite Master Chief to live next door to me and be my neighbourhood commander. He’ll keep me safe and his loyalty will make me feel as warm as a giant comforter. Of course, friendship is more important than security and super cyborgs, so I’d want friendly neighbours too.

Mario would make a great neighbour. He’s happy-go-lucky, has lots of nice friends and lots of great stories. Plus I could always use a good plumber in case a pipe explodes and my place floods. I’d like to have an inclusive neighbourhood, though, and that means I’d welcome the “good,” like Mario, and the “bad.”

They say to keep your friends close and your enemies even closer. Maybe, then, I’d invite Bowser to stay next door. He could cement alliances with other bad guys and keep them off my block for good.

I suppose I might have to turn Mario over to Bowser, but it would be a small price to pay for the security, right? No! What am I saying?

I think I got a bit carried away customizing my neighbours. Instead of playing this game, I’ll be grateful for the neighbours I have. I’ll love them no matter who they are.

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Filed under Video Game Misc.

1001 Years before I Finish This Video Game

Woe is me as I lay here crying, for I have started a video game I may not finish.  Maybe I’m afraid of what will happen to me after I finish the game. Or, dare I say it, do I fear success in the game world? No, I’m sure I’m brave enough.

In truth, I must slay a mighty dragon, return a princess to her throne, return her crown that an awful thief absconded with and take out the garbage. That’s why I can’t play yet. When I’m done all that, then I can play my game and tend to my vegetable patch.

Sometimes I feel like all I can do is tend to my digital garden for a couple of minutes. I think the zucchini is ripe, and I’m excited to see it come back next year too. The tomatoes look even better than I could have imagined.

I’m not sure when this game is over. Maybe it’s after the land becomes barren and infertile. Maybe it’s after the soil seems parched, dry, crumbly under foot and returns to dust.

No matter when the game ends, I vow to keep my joy burning brightly in the face of dark days. I will finish this game even if it takes 1001 days.

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Filed under Video Game Misc., Video Games I Play

Go Home, Video Games! Go Home!

Go home, video games!

Go back to the black bunker-like box you call a home.

Go spin around in there until you’re dizzy.

You’ve overstayed your welcome, and I need some “me time.”

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Filed under Video Game Misc., Video Game Technology

Be Fair When You Review Video Games

Play the video game from beginning to end!

Experience all that the game has to offer.

Understand what the game is about, how one plays it and what the developers intended.

Judge the work. Tell me why it is a good game or a bad game. Be fair.

Why should I care about this video game and your review? Why is this game significant, if at all?


How do you review video games?

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Filed under Video Game Misc., Video Games: Reader Q&A

Here’s How I Fixed Up My Apartment

I wish I could enlarge my crowded apartment. But I can’t afford to pay for enlarging it. And I can barely draw a straight line, even with a ruler. How could I get the measurements right? I couldn’t.

Video games can solve my problem! I would need a home renovation simulator or something like The Sims. I could then enter the home-builder mode to add whatever I needed.

Maybe I’d build a skyscraper that skims the heavens and towers high above all other humans. The skyscraper’s shine would nearly blind people with its glittering gold trim. And the top of the tower would have a great eye-like object that would see everyone entering and leaving the skyscraper. And I would feel like a king.

On second thought, I’ll add this new spice rack. I’m thankful for what I have.

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Slow Down!

Slow down out there! I’m disturbed to read about drivers hitting pedestrians in my city. This isn’t Grand Theft Auto.

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I’m Hopeful about Video Games

Aliens take over Earth. Ants enslave human begins and force us to dig tunnels. A cruel tyrant ascends to a throne covered in his victim’s blood.

Video games offer us hope. Even when the future seems dark, the player can turn on a flashlight and make everything brighter. The player can thwart evil and restore balance to the game world. The player can solve any problem.

But video games should remind us violence and aggression cannot solve our problems. Our world needs this reminder.

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Filed under Video Game Misc., Video Game Trends

Not Thinking about Video Games

I am not going to think about video games.

Wow! Look at that massive billboard for a Mario game.

I am not going to think about video games. I am not going to think about video games.

I wonder if this fellow subway passenger minds that I’m staring at a Zelda poster behind them. I mean, it’s not like I’m staring at a stranger or anything. I’m not crazy.

I am not going to think about video games. I am not going to think about video games. I am not going to think about video games.

This flight is boring. At least I can read about a video game that barely interests me in the in-flight magazine.

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Urge to Play Video Games… Rising

Something’s slowly cooking away in the oven.

Urge to play rising.

Rainy day, no one’s around and I finished everything I had to do.

Urge to play rising.

Stuck in a crowded subway train with nothing to do, nothing to read and barely any space to breathe.

Urge to play rising.


When do you feel the urge to play video games?

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Should I Have Bought More Video Games?

The video game knows I wanted to buy more in the store. The game know I have regrets about my shopping last week. It taunts me, and it tests my resolve every time I near the store.

I try to look away, but the game beckons me to gaze at it, to long to buy it, to play it. It dazzles me with bright colours, fancy packaging and maybe even a neon green discount sticker. I understand what’s happening, and I decide not to buy more games now. I hold my head high and look straight ahead at the road before me.

I walk down the road that isn’t filled with a love things but a love of other people; no matter who they are. I’m on my way down the road while reflecting on how grateful I am for this life. This isn’t the time to think about buying more games.

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Filed under Video Game Misc.