Tag Archives: video games

November 13, 2016 · 6:47 pm

Should I Have Bought More Video Games?

The video game knows I wanted to buy more in the store. The game know I have regrets about my shopping last week. It taunts me, and it tests my resolve every time I near the store.

I try to look away, but the game beckons me to gaze at it, to long to buy it, to play it. It dazzles me with bright colours, fancy packaging and maybe even a neon green discount sticker. I understand what’s happening, and I decide not to buy more games now. I hold my head high and look straight ahead at the road before me.

I walk down the road that isn’t filled with a love things but a love of other people; no matter who they are. I’m on my way down the road while reflecting on how grateful I am for this life. This isn’t the time to think about buying more games.

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November 8, 2016 · 12:18 am

Remember When Video Games Were Black and White?

That’s when they made games that had real substance. There were no crazy colours, no mind bending alternate realities or fancy buttons. Everything was simple and straightforward, as it should always be.

I remember that buying games was less complicated too. Why, in my day, we walked five hectares through hail sleet and snow just to buy a game, and we were better off for it. Can’t we have those days back?

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October 30, 2016 · 7:07 pm

A Video Game Laughed at Me

It started like a wonderful day. I rolled a large brown ball, perhaps it was a walnut, up the hill. Then I rolled what looked like a giant green cabbage up the hill. However, my good time went downhill after that.

Like Sisyphus, I was rolling a boulder, or beehive this time, up a hill, and it kept tumbling down after me. Sometimes the beehive rolled backwards, and while turning around to get it, I would inadvertently hit it, pushing it faster down the hill. Worse yet, sometimes the beehive fell off the cliff and cannon-balled into the water. Before I had the privilege of pushing the beehive up hill again, I had to move it out of the water and nudge it along the beach.

Then the video game laughed at me. Day changed to night as I failed to push the beehive to the top. Night changed to day. The game was showing and telling me: “Look, you are so slow that nights and days are flying by while you fail again and again.” Or at least that’s how the I interpreted the day changes. I could have an overactive imagination.

I felt better when I reached the top of the hill.  I had prevailed!  I was happy to never see that beehive again, and the laughing stopped.

What made feel better after all the pain and torture? The beehive excited a bear who jumped up and down, sang a song and danced. Yes you read that right; it was a dancing bear that made my day.

By the way, I was playing Okami. I recommend playing it to, at least, take in the beautiful world. I’ve warned you about the beehive though.

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October 23, 2016 · 4:45 pm

Video Games Titles in Victorian Style

I was thinking about the long-winded Victorian era novels titles I’ve seen. I also saw long treatise titles, from centuries ago, appear in library catalogue searches while I was in university. These experiences informed this post.

 

1. In which the player leaves his hometown, travels on horseback on an epic quest to retrieve, with keen interest, the stolen sword of Gammalot, defeat the hideous fire-breathing dragon and rescue the allegedly fairest damsel in distress.

2. In which a mustachioed plumbing tradesman, along with his brother and mushroom friends, travel into a fantasy world full of evil, fanged henchmen, while cleaning coal out of clogged pipes and with a particular focus on saving an honourable princess.

3. Ladies and gentlemen, for your consideration, the developers, of this particular piece of interactive game displayed on an electronic device designed for watching, invite you, if you so desire, to partake in amusing yourself, your friends and family by playing Carnival Games.

What would your list of video game titles done in Victorian style look like?

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October 17, 2016 · 11:19 pm

This Blog Post Is Now Loading

You might need to update your graphics card if the video game doesn’t start. The update will cost you $50. Enjoy your day.

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October 10, 2016 · 12:12 pm

“5 More Hours, Please”

“I want to play this video game for five more hours.” This is the refrain of the person who wants to game, but he or she is not an addict. You might think, though, that this quote suggests an addictive behaviour.

You might picture someone sitting on a couch with Cheetos stained fingers. In the other hand, the person clutches a frosty Big Gulp, sporting a pronounced couch groove and sunless skin. This couch potato description might be true in some cases, but one should not assume this about people who play video games. One should not store negative imagery about gamers in one’s head and drew upon these images at will.

Instead, I see the plea to play for five more hours  as an acknowledgment that video games are wonderful and engrossing. They are so wonderful that one wants to spend more time with them to enjoy everything they offer.

However, it’s probably not very wise to stop everything and play for five straight hours. Don’t stop living your life and loving others. Find a responsible way to make time for games.

 

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October 2, 2016 · 7:20 pm

A Tale of Two Misdelivered Video Games

Jenny woke up just like any other day: she rubbed her eyes and grabbed her schoolbooks. As she stumbled around her pink room, she remembered it was both the weekend and her birthday! The fog in her head cleared, and she rushed through her bedroom door into the hallway. And there, sitting on the floor, was a gift from her parents.

She knew what inside the gift bag. After all, she had announced her dream gift to all her friends and relatives. She had even taped a photo of her dream gift on the fridge. Everyone knew she wanted “Pink Pony Rancher 14” (“Now with Cuddly Bunnies.”)

How often she had rehearsed this moment in her dreams, and now she was living it. She opened the gift bag and found a box, a final obstacle. As she opened the box, her parents hovered into view hoping to catch a glimpse of her smile. She ripped open the last piece of bubble wrap and inside was “Super Awesome and Violent Super Hero Adventure Romp 2”.

“We ordered it online,” her father said, “That’s the one you wanted, right sweetheart? We don’t know much about video games.”

Jenny smiled and thanked her parents. She valued loving others more than any toy or game. She tried to appreciate the value of a gift she didn’t ask for, and the love she had received.

After the house fell silent, Jenny sneaked downstairs to play the game. After turning around to check that her parents weren’t watching, she fell in love with the game and played for hours.

***

Jimmy woke up, rolled out of bed and landed on his head. He ignored the pain because he had no time for anything as “weak” as pain. His eyes stung like someone had sprayed them with lemon juice, but he ignored this feeling too. He had more important things to do.

He was about to drive his motorcycle to the gym where he trained as a wrestler, but then he remembered the special day. It was his birthday! So he threw on his favourite heavy metal band t-shirt, combed his long black hair and lifted weights for an hour.

Then he rushed out of his bedroom door to find the bag his girlfriend had stuffed with his gift. The bag was black, of course, and featured a skull and crossbones on the front. But Jimmy paid little attention to these details, including the address on the box, as he thought about the video game he was expecting. He knew what video game would be inside the box because he’d begged his girlfriend to get the latest superhero adventure.

He ripped open the shipping box, and the neon pink game case almost blinded him . It was “Pink Pony Rancher 14”. Claire, Jimmy’s girlfriend, craned her neck around the corner to see his reaction. “That’s the video game you wanted, right? I ordered it from this new video game warehouse website.”

Jimmy felt stung and stood still for a couple of seconds. Yet, he nodded and smiled at Claire because he knew their relationship and the love they shared were more important than any video game. “Thank you sweetheart,” he said. Then they went out for dinner to celebrate Jimmy’s birthday.

When they returned home and Claire had fallen asleep, Jimmy tip toed downstairs to the living room. He turned on his console, and with a deep sigh, gave the game a shot. After a couple of minutes, he turned around to make sure Claire wasn’t watching. A big smile overtook his stubborn lips as he combed the hair of his pony, Mr. Cuddles.

 

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September 26, 2016 · 11:56 pm

This Video Game Belongs in a Library!

Me: “Hi, I’m picking up a game that I put on hold yesterday.”

Downstairs staff member: “Oh, you know, you don’t get to take the game the day after you put it on hold.”

Me: “Really?”

Downstairs staff member: “Once the game is taken off the shelf, it has to be processed and travel from one library to another, which can take several days. And no one can check out the game while it is processed.”

Me: “But the game I placed a hold on is already in the library.”

Downstairs staff member: “Hmmm you can check upstairs, sir, we might not have taken the game off the shelf yet.”

[I walk upstairs to the next level and talk to a second staff member].

Me: “Hi, I’m trying to find a game I just put on hold yesterday. The staff member downstairs told me to check up here.”

Upstairs staff member: “You just came from downstairs and they told you that?”

Me: “Yes.”

Upstairs staff member: “Did they run a search from the computer?”

Me: “No.”

Upstairs staff member: “Did they have you fill out the XJ5000 form?”

Me: “No.”

Upstairs staff member: “Did they check the holds shelf?”

Me: “No.”

Upstairs staff member: “Ok, hold on; let me call downstairs.”

[I waited a minute for the phone call to end.]

Upstairs staff member: “Let’s check the stacks. Come with me. Hmmm no, no it’s not there.”

[I waited about two minutes]

Upstairs staff member: “Let’s see if we can find it on my computer.”

Me: “I thought it would be easy to get the game in the library because the library website says it’s in this building.”

Upstairs staff member: “Oh, wait, it turns out the game was taken out a year go and never returned. I’ll have to change its status to trace.”

Me: “Alright, I guess I’ll have to go to another library branch.”

I thought I’d have to slay a dragon or fight a final boss to get the game. But, no, the story ends with an anti-climactic ending.

This isn’t a true story. However, my recent trip to pick up a DVD from my local library inspired this story. Also, I don’t think that my library has video games.

 

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September 19, 2016 · 11:04 pm

If I was a Video Game Character Living in a Game World

Imagine that I was a video game character living in a video game world. You’d turn on your TV, flip the switch on your console and see me every time you played a game. What should I do with this great privilege and power?

I suppose I’d find cheat codes and give myself many abilities and supplies. First, I’d give myself unlimited money. I don’t know what I do with it all; maybe I could buy several thousand cars and race around town, like something out of Grand Theft Auto. Then I’d find the code to turn myself invisible. That would be a welcome method to take breaks without the player even knowing I was gone. After all, I would get exhausted after the player’s marathon gaming sessions. Finally, I’d rejigger the code to create stunt doubles for myself. That way, I  could do whatever I wanted and never get hurt while the player played. What could go wrong if I had these codes at my finger tips and could do whatever I wanted?

On second thought, this kind of unlimited power could easily corrupt me; instead I would use these cheat codes to help others. I’d go invisible and wade through a sea of zombies, in a post apocalyptic game, just to help an elderly neighbour take out her trash. I’d also become invincible to avoid germs. I could then, without getting sick, babysit all the other video game protagonists’ kids,  so they could have peace of mind while they save the universe and/or world. Finally, I would rejigger the code to help fix other characters who were frozen — in a malfunctioning game, that is. Or maybe I meant shoveling the driveways of snowed in characters on freezing days. No matter the problem, I would find some way to help.

What would you do if you were a video game character living in a video game world?

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September 11, 2016 · 11:36 pm

I Ate Dinner with Video Game Characters

Last week, I got to meet many of my video game heroes.  They invited me over for dinner, but I wasn’t sure what they would serve, or if they eat at all. Let me recount what occurred.

***

1. Mario and Princess Peach had me over for spaghetti and meatballs. The food smelled heavenly, the wine flowed like water in a river, and they were indeed interesting company as they shared stories of their many adventures.

In a dimly lit dinning room, we tucked into the main dish, as well as squid and fish that were both freshly caught from Mario’s games. After a while, I got the feeling Mario and Peach would recreate the famous spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp, and I tried to excuse myself. But then Toad, Mario’s annoying neighbour who can’t take a hint, appeared and would not stop yapping. Oh well, it was a good night overall.

2. Does Master Chief eat? That’s what I thought after I had accepted an invitation to dine with him at his palatial space mansion. Something about taking a giant space elevator into Earth’s atmosphere seemed strange, but I happily went on my way. Of course, I had to take a time machine several years into the future for this meal to be possible, but I’ll omit such boring details from this story.

As the elevator ascended higher and higher into the heavens, I mused about how Master Chief eats. Does he take off his helmet, or does he have a system inside the suit that feeds him? Then I laughed as I pictured him eating cream puffs or dainty finger foods. First of all, this kind of food doesn’t fit with Chief’s “tough guy” image as projected by Microsoft’s marketing. Second, he probably has to avoid such delicate food for fearing of smushing it with his iron grip.

Ding! The elevator had arrived at the top where the Chief had prepared a delicious meal. To my great surprise, I discovered he was a vegan. State secrecy laws prohibit me from discussing how Chief eats or what we ate, but the food sure was tasty!

3.  I wasn’t sure Kirby could ever be “full”. That was my suspicion as I headed for his place. It turns out my suspicion was correct: Kirby devoured both his plate and mine before consuming the entire refrigerator! At first, I thought this overeating was okay because he was ensuring nothing went to waste. He somehow seemed thoughtful.

But my initial reaction turned to disgust as Kirby spat out whatever he had sucked into his mouth and then inhaled more. I don’t mind telling you that I was thoroughly upset, and I ran away before Kirby could eat me. Talk about terrible table manners! I guess you should never eat with some of your video game heroes.

Did you have dinner with video game characters and what happened?

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