July 27, 2014 · 11:29 pm

My Video Game Console Took over My Living Room

I woke up one Saturday morning to the sounds of shrill shouting. As I tip toed toward my living room, the shouting became louder. My teeth chattered. My knees buckled. What could it be?

Rolling thunder made a rumbling sound as if someone was moving heavy furniture on the floor above me. A crack of white-hot lightning bleached the sky as I sauntered past the window. And then I saw it.

I saw a face with a nasty snarl, pointy teeth and menacing eyes. It looked like an evil Jack O’Lantern; only the face was on my TV set!

As I scanned the living room, I noticed all of my electronics were standing in a long line in front of the TV. They looked like a set of dominoes. I could only tell the electronics apart because they sported long, sad faces, each one longer and sadder than the previous one.

My cellphone, my other video game boxes, game controllers, remotes, and blu rays were all there. They huffed and puffed while running to join the line. Like trees, the DVDs showed their age by the multiple rings that ran around them.

What were they doing? They lined up to bow before the TV and offered it gifts. They brought surge protectors, extension cords and a new set of speakers.

“Yes, yes bow down before me—the master of the living room. I am the supreme video game console of the universe,” the TV bellowed.

I noticed my video game console glowed an unearthly hue and levitated off of the table. The console was just using my TV as a mouthpiece to broadcast its message of world domination.

I rubbed my eyes and could now see clearly. My console had taken over my living room!

Your Video Game Console is Coming for You Next

It can happen to anyone. Just think about how much your console does for you and what it might want in return.  Oh,the horror! The horror!

1. Games

You couldn’t resist the bright and shiny allure of a new console. Then, once you got one, you needed something to play. Slowly, you amassed a heap of game boxes that you’ve scattered across your living room.

2. Motion Controls

So you’ve got your TV remote and maybe another remote for movies. Now you’ve got motion controllers and Kinect there.

3. Movies and TV

These are wildly popular. Who knows what’s next?

Keep your eyes open and always beware what lurks in the shadows. You’ve been warned.

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July 20, 2014 · 4:13 pm

Can Video Games Help Writers?

I think playing video games can benefit writers and help them learn discipline.

Writers who enjoy video games get to practice self-control. They do not need self-control because video games are an “addictive” drug. Instead they practice their self-control to balance their time spent playing with their time spent writing. They will have to put the controller down and pick up a quill, or a mouse, at some point. But the chance to practice discipline, by itself, is not a great reason for anyone to play games.

Perhaps a more persuasive reason is that video games can inspire writers to start writing. A person who plays video games can draft previews, reviews, news and anything related to games. These writers already know their audience: it is other video game players.

In addition, video game stories could inspire a person to write fiction. The fiction could be a novel based on a game. Or one could pen an original novel with influences from the story or themes of a game.

Working on video games could give writers a chance to do what they love. An established fiction author might pen the story for a blockbuster video game. Or maybe this author could offer some advice to a development team. So video games can inspire and even get writers paid. Is that it?

Video games offer everyone—not only writers—a chance to relax after a hard day with a fun hobby. Whenever you finish a post or piece of fiction, go for a walk and play a game. Use that time to clear your mind, and then tackle a fresh piece of paper or a blank computer page that taunts you.

Of course, writers still need to read and practice their craft. After all, you can’t finish a post when you are fending off waves of zombies with a machine gun. Or perhaps you have superhuman multitasking skills and a gift for writing without thinking. I did not think so.

I cannot guarantee video games will make you a better writer. However, they can inspire you. They can get you paid. They can help you relax, but don’t forget your discipline.

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July 13, 2014 · 1:38 pm

How to Start a New Adventure

The factory fresh smell of metal and plastic tempts my nose.

This isn’t the smell of roses; it’s even better.

But if the smell doesn’t get you the mere sight of it will.

It’s hard to miss something that shines so bright with so much might, even in the dark it’s sleek, and slim figure stands out.

I long to be closer to it.

I inch forward so as not to appear desperate or too eager.

There’s just a few feet more.

A static charge when I make contact.

The goosebumps pop up and spread all over my arms.

The hair on my head stands tall at attention.

Then a cheerful “ding!”

A tray that has the potential to be full of goodies, greets me.

A lime green light beckons me to get started already.

With the tray full and everything fired up, it’s time for fun.

Time to play.

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July 6, 2014 · 5:35 pm

Video Games Prevent Alien Invasion

Extra! Extra! Read all about it.

Dear Diary,

I set sail for Earth last week on the 246th of Quazar. My official mission was to catalog the humans so that we might prepare for our coming invasion. But I spent a lot time as I watched them play video games.

They play these games on a screen because, as far as I can tell, it is fun and relaxing. I endeavored to understand these abstract concepts but could not come up with a concise, concrete definition.

I found it strange how they played these games. There was no regulatory mind control body, like on our planet, that told people how to behave. There didn’t seem to be any standards. Some played while standing, others lay on their couch like potatoes. Some played alone while others played in groups. A large percentage stood in front of their TV and waved their arms like they were crazy.

In fact, I found those who stood in front of their TV to be the oddest gamers of all. On the one hand, many humans, including gamers, exercise outdoors to stay healthy. They know they can’t play games all day indoors. Yet, I saw some gamers exercise in their living rooms; their underwear on while they stood transfixed in front of the TV. They used video games as an exercise aid that told them what to do.

It gets weirder still. I studied human musicology—from Amadeus to ZZ Top—and discovered musicians and composers have immense skills and knowledge. Yet, I would watch humans slap, again in their underwear, plastic guitars. They thought they were rock stars, but they looked ridiculous in their living rooms.

I was—at first—impressed with the humans. However, I lost immense respect for them after I watched how they played video games. So I recommend that we do not invade this planet. The humans are not a worthy foe and there is nothing on their planet that we want.

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June 29, 2014 · 9:43 am

Having a Fashion Crysis on the Beach

So you decide to get a spiffy new wardrobe. You head to the tailor for a suit, but not just any suit: you’re there to get a nano suit. You know, it’s that futuristic armor from the Crysis games that gives you superhuman powers.

You had zero strength or military training and no exercise regimen to speak of before you bought it. When someone said dumbbell, you thought they were insulting you.

But now you have the suit. You can strut around and feel empowered. Now you can jump higher, run faster and punch stronger than the average Joe or Jill six-pack. The armor also has a cloaking device and can deflect damage. What more could you want?

Well, you might want to have a nano suit and a normal life. But can you have both? Let’s take a look at some scenarios below.

1. You walk along the beach of the Lingshan Islands, the setting from first game. and notice a frog.

I guess you could attempt to pick it up and pet it, but the suit is so powerful that even petting might crush the poor thing. And super soldiers with hyper powered armor don’t pick up and pet creatures, anyway. Petting is too sensitive and doesn’t fit the tough guy clichés.

2. Still sauntering along the beach, you stumble upon a sharp, and potentially deadly pebble.

On closer inspection, you think it’s sharp enough that it could nick someone’s foot. It could even poke someone in the eye.

Cue up the radial menu. Should you cloak and hide from the mean old pebble before it hurts you? I don’t think so. Should you jump over and keep walking like nothing ever happened? Of course not. The correct answer is to strength punch it into a fine, dusty powder. A responsible beach going citizen would do nothing less.

3. You have to perform Chopin’s music at a big piano recital. All your friends and family are there.

They’re so proud of you. What happens next? You sit down and turn on cloak, by accident, because you’re so nervous and don’t want anyone to stare at you.

Then things gets worse. You sit down and start playing, but you’re so strong that you accidentally rip the piano in half just by touching it with you’re pinky finger. Wooden splinters shower your family and friends. Oops!

4. You’re friend has a party and invites everyone over.

He made some nachos and guacamole and asks you to try it. To be polite, you don’t mention how your suit makes eating difficult and get ready to munch.

But you’re so strong and the chips are so weak that they crack into a thousand little pieces. You pour the guacamole on top of the nachos and slam your face into the bowl. Most of the delicious snack covers and stains your visor.

So now you’ve littered your friend’s place with cracked chips, look like a pig and ruined other people’s chances of eating some nachos. You may be wearing a fancy suit on, but you’re still a jerk. Definitely not someone I would invite to my party.

5. You go to see a Rom Com at the movies.

What do you do? Do you use strength jump, punch, run, cloak, or shields? I think we both know, if you’re in touch with your feelings that is. “Cry engaged.”

6. Your little brother asks you to play hide and go seek with him.

You have an unfair advantage in your cloaking device. Should you use it? Of course you should!

Now, he’ll surely complain that he can never find you, but it will help the kid in the long run. He’ll learn to always behave around you. Well, that or he could grow up with a Big Brother complex, watching his back like a citizen from 1984.

Yeah, I think it’s time to take the suit off.

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June 15, 2014 · 10:19 am

A Warning from the Future

Some mysterious person sent me this strange email, and I thought you should read it.

I bring grave news from the future. In the year 2032 new video game technology will reduce all of humanity to brain-dead zombies. No one will resist it. Nothing can prevent this future.

People will bask in the warm glow of this technology all day and everyday. They will treat the screen like a helpless baby and never take their eyes off it. These poor zombies will see their eyes sink back into their heads until they look like prehistoric cavemen.

Don’t blame us; the technology was very impressive. It dwarfed any of the current virtual reality products that you know about. In fact, we marveled at how this new tech made the virtual world indistinguishable from reality. Games and life became the same thing. The lines were blurred.

After the blurry lines, it was a short descent into madness for the human race. It was also a short descent down into the Earth’s caves. In the caves, we sat in front of screens all day and played video games until we couldn’t see straight. Some people tried to escape, but few made it. No one could avert their eyes from the shiny allure of the screen.

I too fell victim to this technology. I sat in a cave for days, as if someone had crazy glued me to the seat, and watched images flicker on the screen. My future seemed bleak. The cave had swallowed me up.

One day a wise woman named Sophia broke into the cave. No one seemed to notice her except me. I moved away from the screen, which I had never done before and talked to her.

“You still have some life in you,” she said. As she looked at my pale face, she spoke again, “You might still know the truth when you see it.”

She grabbed me by the arm and took me to a long ladder behind the screen. Light bathed the glittering ladder. But where was the light coming from?

As we climbed the ladder in a plodding fashion, I saw a crouched person behind the screen. He was flipping switches to control every game we played. He controlled us like puppets all along. My face and hands burned with such a fiery rage that I almost melted the wooden ladder with my anger.

When outside, the sun shone so bright it almost blinded me. My muscles were still too weak to move. It hurt but I was free.

I finally saw the source of the light: a huge golden orb that shone in the sky. The orb represented the good that I had traded in for the coldness of the cave.

“Now you know the truth,” said the old woman, “they deceived you.”

And now you know the truth too. Beware the technology of 2032.

Meh! I thought the email was a spammy scare tactic. I deleted it.

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June 8, 2014 · 9:31 am

Shocking Video Game Nightmare

I stumbled outside one morning, nearly tumbled down the stairs, and saw something unexpected. Everyone in the world, like your grandma, your neighbour and astronauts in space, played video games. They played on the go, at home, and while they ate. There was no more work; work became play.

At first, I thought I was still dreaming. After all, it felt like cement blocks weighed down my eye lids with 100 pounds of pressure, and this was a fantastical world. Then, I smelled the pungent aroma of coffee, it woke up my nostrils, and I downed a cup of it.

I rubbed my blood-shot eyes as my brain processed a different world. Imagine, I wonder if you can, no more “noobs,” no taunts, no banned or censored games and no violence.

Developers and gamers hold hands as they sing in the street. Piracy and DRM are a thing of the past. Everything smells like yellow roses in full bloom on a blue sky Sunday afternoon.

But wait! Scratch this rosy surface and a foul stench now pervades the air.

A billboard sized screen turns on behind me and a big brother-like tyrant speaks commands to his slaves. I look closer to see the tyrant is Doctor Wallace Breen from Half Life 2, and he’s forcing everyone to play video games. I always thought it would be good if more people tried video games, but freedom is something to cherish. Forcing people to have a hobby is wrong.

Get me out! This is a nightmare. I can handle all the people who bash video games. I can handle it if some people don’t play video games. There is no place like home. There is no place like home. Flaws and all.

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June 1, 2014 · 9:58 pm

Early Bird or Night Owl?

The sun rose and bathed the forest with a warm glow. All the birds tweeted — with their voices, not their computers — and sang sweet love songs. A gentle dew quenched all the plant life before the sun rays of the day parched the forest. It was a blissful morning scene.

The songs ceased and the birds spread out to collect twigs for their nests. But Carl the Cardinal was missing.

Max, the biggest Cardinal in the forest, hopped toward his friend and asked, “Hey, Sammy, any idea where Carl is today?”
“Not a clue,” said Max.

Max puffed up his plumage as he chewed this fact over.

“Hmmm he’s not one to miss a friendly chirp.”

Sammy shook a little and squawked, “We’d better look for him then.”

So the two Cardinals flew off in search of their friend. They flew over a babbling brook and didn’t see him. They dove into the tall pine trees and chirped his name to no avail. They asked the grumpy Blue Jays of his whereabouts but couldn’t shake any clues out of them.

After a long morning of searching, the birds lazily flew back to their nest. They perched themselves on their front porches when Sammy started chirping, “I”— he felt a dry lump at the back of his beak — “I hope he’s ok.”

“I’m sure he’s fine. He’s a tough bird and he always kept his beak clean.”

“I know but…but I just have awful visions of a mountain cat and…”

“Don’t Worry,” Max interrupted, “Let’s just try to get some shut-eye.”

Suddenly loud music and explosions seemed to echo throughout the forest. It was coming from Carl’s house!

The birds flew next door to Carl’s nest and found the front door wide open. It seemed like no one was home. They moved deeper into the house and found Carl sprawled across his couch with a controller.”

“No, no shoot left!”

“Carl!” they both screamed, “Have you been sitting here playing video games all day while we worried sick about you?”

“Carl turned around to face them so quickly that his cigar fell out of his beak. “Oh, sorry guys. I woke extra early this morning to squeeze in some game time. I forgot that we were collecting twigs today and just kept playing.”

 

So I’m not much of an early bird when it comes to playing video games. Let me tell you what I am by way of a story…

***

Much later, the forest became deathly silent. Darkness covered everything like a giant black blanket.

There was some relief, though, from the darkness. Something like a gigantic bowling ball with three huge craters appeared high in the night sky.

Then there were two yellow orbs that pierced through the darkness that blanketed the landscape. The orbs were so bright that they even shone through the dense packed trees.

A lone traveler with his flashlight headed towards the trees. He scratched his head, furrowed his brow and wondered “What could those orbs be?”

He walked so close to the trees that he bumped his head. The branches were perfectly camouflaged in the black night, and it was a dangerous time to be in the forest.

“Owww what was that?,” he said.

He moved away from the branch and heard a strange sound.

“Hoo, Hoo!”

The traveller clenched his fist. “Not who. I said what.”

“Hoot, hoot!”

“Oh a wise guy, eh? Alright you asked for it pal.”

The traveler pulled his arm back to deliver a deadly blow. That’s when he noticed the orbs seemed to blink.

“Wait, what the…”

The traveler’s eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped when he saw it.  An owl, perched on a branch, and staring at a glowing white screen. It was playing a handheld video game at night!

“We’ll I’ll be… playing video games at night,” the traveller thought.

The Owl replied, “Hey, will you keep it down over there; I’m trying to play. Geez, the nerve of some people.”

————————————-
I don’t obsessively play video games in the middle of the night in a tree. But this was a different way of saying that I’m a night owl gamer. What about you? Are you night owl gamer or an early bird?

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May 25, 2014 · 4:39 pm

Ode to Video Games

It starts as a trust building exercise.

You fall back and trust the couch will catch you.

You can’t fight that sinking feeling… of joy as the couch cushions and envelops you.

Now inch forward a little.

Or, thanks to the technological advancements of a shiny new box, speak a command:

“Console, make me relax. I need to cope with a harsh day.”

There’s no extra equipment necessary, no drugs, no mind altering substances and no batteries required to relax.

You turn to play.

You did it as a kid, but somewhere along way people said you were too big.

Now you play with a tech box, not a sandbox.

Let the stress of the day melt away like ice cubes on a warm tray.

Then watch as it flows like a lazy river and pretend you’re swimming in it.

It carries you to strange places, past nymphs and fairies.

It’s like something out of a certain composer’s dream.

Now, you’re only immersed in the game’s menu.

And it’s time to dig in to something substantial.

The beautiful digital art whets your appetite.

Fun is the main course: it sustains you and gets you excited.

The music is a sweet dessert the stays with you.

Each serving tastes better than the last.

Take your time to prepare a strategy.

Chew over all the facts.

Because only you can stop hordes of aliens from burning our planet (and forests).

Or grit your teeth in frustration.

It’s all happening in your kitchen—I mean living room.

Aside from the cooked aliens, no lives were lost.

The thrilling story, your hard work, are finished.

Watch the final boss crumble on the ground.

Off the heat.

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May 18, 2014 · 2:32 pm

How Video Games Help Me

Video games have taught me many essential life skills. Playing games helps me with time management, perseverance and relaxing.

I can’t do everything in one day. I have limits. Playing games has helped me improve my will power and time management. I can play games for an hour or so per session and then move on to the other things in my life.

I’ve learned some lessons from these play sessions. They taught me to keep trying even when I make mistakes. In the worst case scenario, when your plan fails, you know you can restart and try again. Sometimes, after you keep trying, the plan comes together and works. You can erase all the penciled in plans to do something better.

However, strategies can fail and failure is a part of life. Games teach you to solve problems you meet, to find other paths to carry out a task. In life, too, you can travel down another path when you find yourself lost.

This new path in your life may seem scary sometimes. So how can anyone unwind under all this pressure?

Video games are one important hobby that help me relax. They help me briefly forget the problems of the world, which I do my best to try to solve. Playing video games and relaxing makes me a joyful person, and then I can go into the world and be at my best.

If you removed video games from my life, I might be hollow husk of my normal self. You wouldn’t recognize me. They have taught me so much.

How have video games helped you in life, if at all?

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