December 29, 2013 · 4:38 pm

Sorry, My Blog Lost Power

dangling power linesDear readers,

Last Sunday my apartment and my blog lost power. Tree branches collapsed under their own weight because of their thick coats of ice. Power lines dangled like deadly snakes in some areas.

I was volunteering, wrapping gifts and dealing with the power outage. There was no way I could post about – let alone play – video games. It wasn’t going to work.

I love writing. I love reading others’ work. I set out to publish a post every week, and I’ve done that for over a year now. So it hurt a little when I couldn’t do that last week.

But I got over the hurt fast. In my city, there were thousands of people during Christmas – and there are still some – without power. They’re the people who need help.

Also, I’ll publish two short blog posts today to make up for last Sunday. I spoil you. You know that, right?

***

What crazy things have happened to you while publishing a post? Have you ever lost power when you were blogging? How did you cope?

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December 15, 2013 · 9:27 pm

Level Up Everything Until You Drop II

Video game hippieOur fun deprived world needs video games. Great games are fun, they might inspire us to ponder life’s big questions, and the game industry employs so many people. But what if video games could make our lives a little easier too?

We could borrow the concept of leveling up – a video game term – and use it to make life easier. When you level something up in a game, it’s usually a joy to do it. You might then customize or upgrade that thing to improve it. You could level up your character, a weapon or a vehicle.

Now, imagine if you could level up things to help you in life. Here’s a fun list of things that I wrote:

1. Level Up Chores

Garbage

Taking out the trash is a time-consuming and stinky affair. I can think of many other things that I’d rather do.

If I could level up doing the garbage, I would get a robot. R.O.B., that delightful Nintendo creature, could do the job. He would organize my garbage, recycling and leaves, and wheel it out to the front lawn on collections days.

No need to get my hands covered in rotten vegetables when the bags break. No flies buzzing around me. No fishy smell from the garbage bin.

Everything would smell rosy. That is, of course, unless my robot turned on me and dumped the garbage all over me. I’d better hire another robot to keep an eye on R.O.B., just in case.

Washing dishes

You might wash dishes with your hands. Or you might use a dishwasher that runs on foamy soap and leaves your dishes sparkling clean. Either way, you’re spending a lot of time and money to do this chore.

I think Pokémon could help us here. If I were to level up doing the dishes, I would use a Squirtle, or something similar, to get the job done. I think a Blastoise might just destroy any fine china you have. Then I could do all the dishes without spending a dime on water for this chore.

What about if you’re catering for a party? How would you clean up all of your dishes? I would level up a Squirtle until it evolved into a Blastoise to spray all the dishes at once. Step back and put on your safety goggles first.

Cutting grass

Level up and then use sonic supersonic speed to cut the grass. The neighbours would feel dizzy as they watch a blue blur cut everything in under a minute. But then they’d have a smile on their face and the neighbourhood would seem like a happier place all because of my lawn.

2. Level Up Transportation

Deflection shield

Imagine if you could level up a shield to keep people or objects from bumping into you. Pedestrians would feel a lot safer crossing the street. Cars wouldn’t crash into each other. Cyclists could ride safely on the street without fear. Children could run into the street to pick up a stray soccer ball.

Ok, I think you get the point.

Cars without damage

Alright, drivers wreck their cars all the time. What if we could borrow the idea of damage-free cars from racing games? I’m talking about old school games here. Also, race car drivers no longer need to fret about totaling their cars when they crash into a will.

Hover Boots

You need to move from point A to point B as fast as possible. How are you going to do that? Running on your feet is so pedestrian, and hover boots are so much better. They’ll get you where need to go to save the day. Start saving up those experience points today so you can level up your plain old boots.

3. Level Up Time

No more time-wasting. That means more time to love others and more time for this blog and my short stories.

***

Imagine a better world with all these things leveled up. I wonder if you can…

Just call me the video game hippie.

 

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December 8, 2013 · 6:30 pm

Help! I’m a Video Game Snail

video game snailVideo game snails are people who play games in a slow fashion.

Take a look at how I played Mass Effect 2. I started it in February and didn’t finish until a couple of months later. Yes, it’s a huge game, but I played through it at a snail’s pace.

I take my time playing games because life is busy. Family, friends, cooking, writing, reading, volunteering, biking, running, and all the other hobbies in my life take up time.

Other snails might have their own reasons for taking so much time to finish a game. Their interest in video games might wax and wane. They could be playing games for the first time. They might feel the need to collect everything and see the number “100%” pop up. Or maybe a pesky bird swooped down from the sky and tried to eat them. Who knows for sure?

But one thing is certain about snails: it takes them a while to cross the finish line in a game.

That’s One Fast Hedgehog!

Hedgehogs – like Sonic – are the opposite of snails. Hedgehogs race through the latest game so they can play the next one. They might finish video games, but they don’t stick around long after they’ve done everything.

Why are they so fast? I suspect hedgehogs want to play all the good games that come out during the year. Perhaps they crave variety to have fun.

***

So are you a snail or a hedgehog?

 

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December 1, 2013 · 10:09 pm

It Belongs in a Library

Steam salesI kissed my family goodbye, packed my bags with supplies and headed out in search of treasure.

I dug for hours in the scorching hot sun until sweat covered me. Then I found something shiny in the dirt. It was a tempting treasure, but no one goes on an adventure just to settle for the first bronze trinket they find. So I dug a little deeper.

At first I couldn’t believe my eyes. The resplendent surface of a gold nugget blinded me. Was this a desert mirage?

No, this was the real deal.

It was…

Alan Wake with a dramatic discount on Steam!

My First Steam Sale

It happened a while ago, but I’ll never forget it.

I saw Alan Wake priced at $29.99. Then the sale started and all hell broke loose when the game they slashed the game’s price to $14.99. I was so green back then, but I knew Steam could lower the cost even more.

And Steam did it.

It was like a genie granting my three wishes: cheap, cheaper, cheapest. The numbers changed faster than the cherry images on a slot machine. I blinked. The next thing I knew Alan Wake was in my library and probably reading one of his books.

So my journey came to an end, and I returned to my family. The golden nugget lay safely in my library for my eyes only. But, hey, what do we have here on Steam? I should check this out. It can’t hurt for me to buy more…

Time for me to close Steam.

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November 24, 2013 · 10:39 pm

Interview: Generic Space Marine

Video game space marineWelcome back to my series of posts where I get up close and personal with video game characters. Inspired by Wreck-It-Ralph, I travel into video game worlds to interview their denizens.

For today’s interview, I traveled deep into the dark recesses of space until I stumbled upon a strange sight. It was half human and half machine. On top of its head was a massive helmet that almost weighed more than me. It wore a shade of generic green space marine armor. I was in awe.

On with the show.

***

Me: So you spend a lot of time in space. You say you just flew back from space to earth for this interview. Are your arms tired?

SM: That some kind of joke, punk? Let me tell you the story of a giggling joker ripped apart by alien lasers. He won’t laugh ever again.

Me: What were you doing in space?

SM: I took the fight to the alien home world. Stole some of their guns too and that really made their green blood boil.

Me: Have you been on any other missions lately?

SM: I did some covert ops, government cover ups, redacted files, blah, blah, blah. I’d tell you more but then I’d have to blast you.

(Cracks knuckles)

Me: Uh ok. Does it hurt when you are repeatedly shot during missions?

SM: Nah, my life is not the slightest bit realistic. I completed all my missions despite absorbing thousands of bullets. My eyes saw everything painted red, and my heart pounded so loud that passersby could hear it. But I mostly just walked it off or took cover and regained perfect health. Even when the damage became overwhelming, I’d get back up, dust off my shoulders and try again.

Me: Wow! Do you think medical science will ever let all of us just walk off illness? Could you hold the secret to curing all disease?

SM: How should I know bub. I’m just a space marine.

Me: How do you handle all this blood and killing? Do you ever get sick of it?

SM: Nah I love it! (Punches his fists together).

Wait (sheds a tear)… I – sometimes I long to bake cookies, skip through grassy meadows on warm spring days and pick up pretty purple flowers.

But it can be so lonely sometimes being a war machine. People don’t know that I find it hard to express my feelings, display emotions or show affection. Why, the other day, I picked up a flower but accidentally crushed it with my powerful grip.

I long to share my feelings, to take this mask off… I think it all goes back to the fact that my parents didn’t love me enough as a child. My dad was a cold space marine in the 8 bit days and my mom…

Ah what am I talking about! Delete that from the interview. I’ve got a persona to keep up. (Chomps freshly lit Cuban cigar and blows smoke into my face.)

Me: (cough, cough) Right… So you’ve appeared in a lot of games. Do you ever play them?

SM: Definitely not! And you shouldn’t either. They’re a waste of time and they kill brain cells. I’ve taken enough brain damage in the line of duty. Thank you very much. Oh, and don’t forget to buy my new game on Christmas.

Me: Ok, I think we’ve covered you’re games enough. Tell me what you like to do for fun?

SM: Take my tank for a stroll through the streets and shoot anyone who looks like a bad guy.

Me: That sounds like vigilante justice. What if they’re not a bad guy?

SM: Listen, pal, I’m not a detective here, alright? I don’t investigate everyone before I shoot. That wouldn’t make for a thrilling game. I also don’t come down to where you work and tell you what to do.

Me: How about loving and eating? How do you do that when your helmet is always on? Doesn’t it get dirty?

SM: You don’t want to know, pal.

Me: What’s it like being a space marine? I mean doesn’t it get lonely?

SM: Oh it gets so lonely sometimes that I want to cry. (Audible sniffles)

Me: Is that – Is that a tear running down your visor?

SM: No, no it’s nothing. Next question!

Me: Do you think about anything besides death?

SM: I’m programmed and hard-wired to focus on those.

Me: But do you have any free will or are just a digital killing machine?

SM: Whoa, whoa, whoa… don’t get all egghead on me.

Me: You’re not that bright. Are you?

SM: That’s it! I’ve had just about all I can handle of you. Come here so I can beat the living brains out of you.

(I run off. The interview ends)

So the space marine in your video game may seem invincible. But they might also have unresolved childhood issues, anger management and difficulty expressing emotion. Guess it’s not so great to be a space marine after all.

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November 17, 2013 · 5:51 pm

Goldilocks & the Three Games

Video game difficultyWhat does Goldilocks have to do with video games? Well, she knew things had to be “just right.” She could probably help us find the right video game difficulty.

Some games are too hard. You know the signs. You ripped out clumps of your golden locks and smashed your controller against a wall. I’m talking about unfair cheap shots, like a never-ending torrent of grenades in a shooter. The enemy pelts you with potato mashers before you can take two steps forward. That’s unfair because you can’t win at all.

Too hard is different from challenging: a challenging game tests your skills in a fair way. That means you die because you made a mistake, and to improve, you need a better strategy. So instead of walking into the wave of grenades, walk around them. There’s nothing wrong with a fair challenge that requires some skill to solve.

However, an unfair and difficult game is like a red hot bowl of porridge. It seems like fun at first, but it leaves you burning with anger as you consume more of it. There might also be some steam involved. Though, in the case of the game, it will probably come out of your ears.

So we don’t want to be angry. Let’s see what else is on the table.

Ah, yes, this game looks nice and easy. But your average seasoned gamer might fall asleep behind the controller when they play an easy game. They’re hard-boiled and have been around the block. They find themselves reaching level five hundred in the first hour only to snore as loud as a leaf blower. The same game might be so easy that it even offends newbies who want some challenge.

The easy game is like the frosty bowl of porridge: it’s dull and lacks any flavour. We need to look again.

Ah, we’ve found the right game. This game achieves the golden mean: it’s a balance between too hard and too easy. It’s just right. It teaches you how to play, without being too easy, and it’s challenging but fair.

I’m also happy when a game has several difficulty modes. An easy mode can help new gamers. Then more people discover the art and joy of video games for the first time. For example, adults who want to learn video games might want to jump into the shallow end with wings. In addition, hard modes allow everyone to boast about their impossible victory. And the “normal” setting strikes that just right balance.

Looks like the bears caught me playing their video games. Time to run!

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November 10, 2013 · 5:16 pm

Video Games Let You Fly

Journey video gameYou can’t fly. Ok, maybe you can board a plane, or sail away in a hot air balloon, or blast off with a jet pack. But you need technology; you can’t fly by yourself.

Well, there is one way you can fly by yourself: become a video game character.  Come on, you know deep down the kid in you wants to do it, so don’t dismiss this post.

I would be the burgundy robe wearing figure from Journey. The figure has a mysterious visage, piercing white eyes and a glittering scarf. I’m not sure how I would ever get anything done in that world though. I mean, the beauty of the game world would always overwhelm me.

A Day in the Life of a Journey Character

I got up early while the sun was shining. Though, as far as I can tell, the sun is always shining in this world. Then I left my house, a set of ancient ruins scattered among the dunes, and floated off in search of a journey.

I soaked up tons of resplendent sunshine that day and got a little hot. After all, I live in sweltering desert heat and wear a thick robe everyday. But I like to think the robe protects me from UV rays. Also, the robe’s perfect for trekking through snowy mountain peaks. It’s a one of a kind must-own fashion item.

The sun and the heavy, flowing robe always make my mouth feel as dry as the Sahara. So, my first goal every day is to get some water. Without the water, I would dry up like a raisin and disintegrate into a dust indistinguishable from the desert sand.

When my thirst became unbearable, I stopped to meditate on the precariousness of my life in the world of Journey. It was relaxing. The sun melted away all my stress like it was an ice-cube. I sat down by myself and hours flew by.

But I wasn’t alone all the time. I met tons of cool strangers who dropped in and out at random. These random meetings made it hard to make good friend, but it worked for speed dating.

Overall, I had a ton of fun meeting all these strangers. We sometimes raced each other down desert dunes, like we were on a sand toboggan. We also floated past each other and spoke a strange language that brought us closer together.

We journeyed for a long time until we reached a massive mountain. Our hearts and our relationship nearly froze up there. We were joyful after we reached the top of the mountain, got a second chance at life, and passed through a mysterious crevasse flooded with light.

Gee, I forgot all about that water.

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November 3, 2013 · 6:27 pm

Thanks for Reading This

video game blog 100 hundred followsI have an urge to be creative. I get up in the morning, as the alarm buzzes in my ears, and want to do something great.

But I don’t sculpt statues and don’t lift heavy objects. Toolboxes, bricks, and easels aren’t necessary for me.

Instead, I use pens, keyboards and a mouse. Ok, for those keeping count, this is my metaphorical toolbox. This toolbox doesn’t matter too much; any pen will do. Perhaps I would care about these items if I was a keyboard designer or engineer, but I’m not. In truth, these tools are only important because they help me put words on my blog.

I chose to blog about video games for two reasons. First, I love playing them. And when I am close to them, roses fills my nostrils, all I see are hearts, and the music from Romeo and Juliet plays in the background. Sharing this love of games is the logical next step for me.

Well my goal with this blog was humble. I wanted at least one person to like and read it. I’m happy to say that my blog has long since achieved and surpassed that feat. A couple of days ago, I earned a total of 100 followers and 200 likes for good measure.

But I want more than these numbers: I want my words to captivate the eyes of non gamers. Maybe they’d learn something new about games, or maybe they’d realize gamers are like them. I’m proud to say some great writers from non game blogs have already liked my posts. Here’s to having more of them pop by!

I love words, video games, and I need to share my thoughts with you. I want to let the words flow like a river from my head, down my arms and on to the screen. From there, they trickle into the vast ocean we call the internet.

Thanks for reading.

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October 27, 2013 · 5:28 pm

Reason Before Passion in the Console Wars

next gen console warsSometimes the console wars go over the top. Now, people argue about things that don’t matter to blow off steam. I get it. That’s fine. But game arguments can spiral out of control and become console wars.

In these conflicts, crazed fans toss insults at each other like grenades thrown at enemies in a battle. However, the casualties in this video game war are brain cells, not scores of soldiers. The wars become a deadly Molotov cocktail-like mix of game preferences, ignorance and anger.

One can tell when an argument about consoles has spiraled out of control. There is no more reason. No love for others. Total war destroys all of these. Gamers in these wars have an unhealthy love of machines and spew venom on others. That is what defines a console war.

This unhealthy love is nothing new. Console wars have raged for many years, and they have intensified as we await the release of the new machines. Microsoft’s policy reversals and rumours about boxes have given hawkish gamers the chance to start a battle. These hawks have a simple rallying cry: “My next-gen console is better than yours.”

However, gamers cannot say yet that one next-gen console is better than the other. The reason is simple: the consoles are not available yet. Some might counter that we know much about these consoles already, but we still have much to learn. And the console makers could make drastic changes to their machines after we buy them.

How could anyone argue about “the best console” until they have played all the machines? After they’ve tried all the consoles, and maybe after they’ve waited until the end of that generation, gamers can then ask some questions. Gamers could ask themselves if Sony, Microsoft or Nintendo, did what they set out to do. Did they keep their promises?

Of course, a good part of this assessment involves games, not just boxes. We can talk about boxes all we want. But at the end of the day, gamers are – surprise! – enamored with games. At the very least, wait until the games come out before you judge the consoles.

Even after the games come out, it may take many years of hindsight before you can say one console was “better” than another. And then you still have to figure out standards to judge these machines.

The console wars are pointless. The opponents in these conflicts can agree they both love video games. Instead of arguing, these people could discuss their love for games. Better yet, they could spend time playing together and lay down their arms. I’m sure most people prefer fun over war.

 

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October 20, 2013 · 4:39 pm

Hate to Play with Strangers Online? Take a Journey

Journey multiplayerPretend your head is a block of cheese. Let’s make it American cheese because I know most of my audience hails from there.

Don’t ask scientific questions about how this occurred; just imagine. I’m sure you can pretend because you’re not empty-headed.

Now imagine you go online to play games with strangers. What’s the experience like? Well, sometimes it feels like strangers grate on your cheddar nerves. And they scream while they grate to terrorize your ears. But you didn’t ask for that treatment.

When you go online, you may want to blow up zombies’ empty heads and set fire to their corpses. But your fellow zombie terminator might have more fun setting you on fire. You don’t need this kind of behaviour. You also don’t want to listen to people who screech like fingernails on a chalkboard.

So I think you should look up Journey. But be careful if you search for it online because you could get some unintended results. Ignore all the search results about life fulfilling exercises, maximizing your potential and so on. This is a game.

In Journey, you slide down desert dunes and fly to reach a mountain. Along the way, you sometimes run into a stranger who wants to soar and sail with you in the wind.

Journey also has tons of strangers who don’t want to help you. The good news is they aren’t essential. They pop into existence and disappear without so much as a wave goodbye. You can avoid all conversation with them.

Just like life, relationships wither and people disappear in Journey. They reach a higher plane. Or maybe they go to an eternal void.

But when you find someone who sticks around to play, the game’s co-op will light up your eyes with delight. You’ll find yourself marveling at the game’s beauty with someone else. Then, when it looks like you’re both done for, you’ll pass through the unknown without saying a word.

Some games urge you to talk to your partner, but Journey leaves you mute. Sure, you can blurt out foreign characters and sounds above your head. These character may not mean much, yet they still can bind you close to other player.

Like in life, sometimes you hardly speak a word to friends and family, and they can still understand you. They might share the same hopes and dream as they embark on the journey of life.

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